Thursday, April 30, 2009

Trying To Explain

It's funny how different this whole second child thing has been for me. I hate to talk about it out loud in fear it will change. But seeing how I've never been one to hold back...I'll put it out there and immediately knock on wood.

While pregnant with Jace I tried hard to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for the bomb that was about to hit. I struggled big time after Camden was born and I thought I knew what was coming. But with that being said, I was also aware that I had no idea what was coming(if that makes any sense). I guess I was trying to prepare for everything, without having any expectations. I talked with moms who had a hard time with two and others who thought it was a breeze. I just KNEW I was gonna get a run for my money. I had come to terms with getting no sleep, feeling like death, looking even worse, and being a basket case.
Much to my surprise, not everything I KNEW would happen, did. Yes I felt crappy in the hospital, but it didn't last as long. No my body didn't miraculously look like a supermodel right after giving birth, but I knew not to try my "normal" clothes for awhile. Yes, my newborn wakes up in the middle of the night, but my two year old wakes up more(and has for the last few months). Yes I had a few meltdowns, but not nearly as many and I knew it was okay to feel that way.
As much as I've tried to explain how I've felt after two, I can't seem to find the words. I remember getting so mad when I heard mom's say how wonderful having babies was and how they connected from the get-go. I never felt that way for a long time with Camden, but this time I get it. Not to say I didn't love Camden, because I did and I do. But my world was just completely rocked in a way I never expected. Jace will be three weeks old tomorrow and I know the road is long. But for now I will embrace the good baby I have and cherish these near perfect times before they are gone.

He is starting to be more awake during the day. His umbilical cord is getting ready to fall off. He has already outgrown some clothing. I might have to start feeding him 6oz at a time. I'm afraid my baby is growing up too fast.


The Brinkerhoff's said...

I am so scared first of having a boy and then having another since Navi is my whole world. I am glad to here that it is going so good for you. I might need advice in a couple months

Tawnya said...

No one can adequately prepare you for just how hard it is to have a baby. Looking back now, I would go so far as to say it's traumatic. I'm glad that #2 is better and I bet it's because you had such a growing experience the first time.

Kenzie said...

I'm so glad to hear your doing good. Your kids are aboslutely darling!!


Cute pictures..I just love the one of Camden..such a proud big brother! And Jace is soooooo cute I want to squeeze his cheeks off!