Tis the Season

Man oh man am I behind!  So much to blog about and so many pictures.  I feel overwhelmed trying to give justice to everything we got to do this Christmas.  So here is the readers digest version.

We enjoyed lots of Christmas stories from Nanny's collection of picture books.

 Got matching jammies(a perk for being willing to model for Nanny's quilt store)to wear Christmas eve.

Left yummy treats for Santa that were quickly gobbled right up.

Made Rudolph cookies in our Halloween costume.

Got to meet our baby(who isn't a baby anymore, sniff sniff) cousin for the first time.

Worked hard on "gifts" we could give back to the Savior as the month went on.

Tried our best to focus on the reason for this Christmas season.

Got to visit family in Utah.

Did lots of lounging around and eating.

And got completely spoiled on Christmas day.

The end.

Feeling Jumbled

Sometimes I feel like I can't explain the way I feel.  It's as if what I'm feeling contradicts itself.

Last week I received a Christmas card in the mail from a neighbor who I serve with in the Young Women's program.  She had sent one addressed to my parents, and another addressed to my little family of 4.  I wasn't quite sure why I was so grateful for this card until later that evening. 

I guess it started while I was attending the Relief Society Christmas party.  The evening was very well thought out, and had a sweet spirit along with it.  I knew several other women there and I definitely didn't feel alone.  But during the middle of the program I felt very out of place.  It felt like I had nothing in common with those people around me.  I felt like they could never understand where I was coming from and vice versa.  That's when my bad attitude started to creep in.  I didn't want to be there.  I didn't want to be in Idaho anymore.

As I walked towards the door to leave, I happened to pass the person who sent the Christmas card I opened earlier that day.  I couldn't help but thank her for sending me a card.  I told her it was very sweet to address one separately, just for me.  Another lady overheard and asked her why she did that.  Why she used another stamp if we live in the same house.  She explained how she felt that she had lost her identity when she lived with her in-laws for a period of time.  She didn't want me to feel that way.

I fought back the tears in front of her that night but came home, curled up in my bed and let them fall.  And that is when the contradiction started.

I am happier with life more right now, than I have been in a long time. I am mentally in a place that feels so good.  I love being so much closer to family and seeing my kids get to know them better.  Dan's job here was an answer to so many prayers.  I feel so blessed to have the support and help of my parents and little brother. They have made it so easy to live here and I can see how hard they've tried to let us be our own family.  I honestly feel like I can't complain about how things are.

At the exact same time I feel like life is in limbo.  I feel chaotic and out of place.  I'm hoping to strike gold and get a place of our own.  I miss my routine and my own life in Arizona.  I miss our ward and friends.  I feel guilty for the convenience of having "built-in" babysitters.

The thought of putting my feelings together confuses me to the core.  I guess it is sort of losing your identity.  But at the same time, I feel like I've found the identity I have spent the last few years searching for.

Tradition

 I have a lot of favorite Christmas traditions and decorating gingerbread houses is definitely one of them.  One thing that was different this year...I finally put on my big girl pants and learned how to make them from scratch.  My very own set of(special made) cookie cutters was passed on to me and I put them to work.

After everyone finished decorating, Camden kept saying he was sad his wasn't as cool as the others.  Seriously, does self doubt and self consciousness really have to start at age four?  Not fair.

Camden's house on the left, Jace Man's on the right.  I think they turned out pretty darn good. 

Sneak Peak

A new aquarium is opening up here in town and this weekend we got back stage passes before the grand opening.

Camden was a little nervous about putting his hands in the water, but Jace practically jumped in for a swim.

There were several interactive exhibits where Jace enjoyed holding baby shark eggs, and touching starfish.

I have a feeling we will be going back for more(after Santa comes with our Season pass).

Camden-1, Jace-Goose egg

I'd be lying if I said I was surprised when I received the following text from Dan last night:

"Jace may or may not have just crashed his head in the wall and left a big hole"

It's bound to happen with two boys, but it's unfortunate it had to be in my parents house.  Whoops.

Dan said they were racing to bed when Camden felt the need to push Jace and ensure a victory on his part.  Too bad Camden felt worse about the accident than he would have about losing the race.

A Friend With Benefits

Our favorite Ya Ya happened to score a sweet job with an airline company.  Lucky for us, we were the recipients of her awesome benefits.

We visited the local craft fair, and had the pleasure of sitting on Santa's lap for the first time this season.

Apparently seeing Santa got Ya Ya in the Christmas mood.  She stopped by the first tree lot we passed and bought the kids their very own fresh Christmas tree.   Leave it to Ya Ya to let them pick out their own ornaments and decorate until their hearts were content.  They are so excited about their own tree and have to show everyone who comes to our house.

Thanks for a fun, spur of the moment visit.

Arthur Christmas

Dan has been working two jobs which means he is gone most of the day.  Often he leaves before the kids wake up and gets home after they are in bed.  So when he got home last night before it was too late, he was begging to do something fun with the boys.

So fun we did.

I was worried how the kids would handle a late movie on a day with no nap.  But thankfully it was a school night and we were the only ones in the theater so I didn't have to worry.

Toothfairy

One of the first Sunday's at church here in Idaho, a sweet lady invited me to come to library with her and her grand kids the following Tuesday.  I was so thankful someone recognized we were new and reached out to befriend me.  Her grand kids have become good friends with my boys and we enjoy doing things together.

As we drive to the library each week, we pass by a dentist office with a lighthouse out front.  Her grandson Caleb always asks if he can go in it.  So one day she called the dentist office and apparently that is where the Toothfairy lives.  They graciously invited us to come take a tour.

It was the cutest little place I've ever seen.  Everything was miniature, pink and full of sparkles.

We got to see some of the teeth she has collected from all over the world before she grinds them up into fairy dust.

Unfortunately she is one busy lady and wasn't there today.  Luckily she had teeny tiny pieces of paper for us to leave her a letter.

Thankful

We love Thanksgiving around these parts and have so much to be grateful for.

I love the silly little crafts my kids create but hate having them around for clutter.  I figure if I take a picture it is just as good as saving it, right?  This is what Jace brought home from Nursery.

This year we had a thankful tree.  Small tags were left out all month and we could write as we pleased.

I am thankful for:

family

a heater in my house and car

my walking buddies

my calling

Dan's jobs

family deserves two spots on my list-especially my parents and little brother

slippers

testimony

Before eating ourselves sick we hit up the bowling alley.

I'm pretty sure Camden and Jace had better scores than most of us.

I have to document this picture because it is a rare accomplishment.  Getting both of my parents smiling a real smile at the same time is something to be documented.  They must really like the bowling alley!  Maybe someday I will get them both looking and smiling, but for now this will do.

Drawing 101

Yesterday Camden asked if he could draw a picture for Dad since he is out of town.  I happily got the bag of crayons and a few pieces of paper, anticipating a little time to myself.  But I had this nagging feeling it was time for a little drawing lesson. 

Up until this point Camden just "scribbled" on paper and when asked what he colored, he looked at me like I was crazy.  I guess I thought kids just magically learned how to draw things. But seeing how I never draw because I lack that gene, why would I expect them to know how.    So I busted out my stick figure skills and told him to give it a try.

Call it sappy but I got a bit chocked up when I noticed he really did learn something from me. So I excitedly asked him about his drawing.

"It's one, two, three, four aliens getting sucked up in that spaceship.  And these(pointing to all the random dots) are Chewie's feets of mud all over everywhere."

And his(ok, mine too) favorite part of this masterpiece was on the back side.

"Look!  It's you having a hard day mom."

Goodbye

Today I loaned a few baby items to a friend for her grand baby who is coming to visit.  I may or may not have smelled them before I sent them out the door.  The scent of my babies is rather faint, probably gone.  It broke my heart.  Before I know it, my 4 and 2 year old will be long gone.

Today at four years old Camden is rather sassy.  He seems to enjoy talking back and not listening to discipline.

At two Jace can carry on a full conversation as if he were an adult. The wheels in his head are just spinning with all the information he is trying to soak in.

Both of them never stop talking.

Camden pointed to a lady in the store this morning and said, "Look, big fat".  It broke my heart.  His innocence was escaping the jar I thought I bottled up so tight.

I have felt somber all day as I realized my kids are growing up right before my eyes.

One Last Picture(cell phone style)

Trick or treating this year was extra fun.  Camden is at such a fun age, he was soaking it all in.  I'm pretty sure it helped having his cousin Jenna confidently show him the ropes.  And Jace was in his own world.

I could only imagine the thoughts going through their heads.  How awesome it is to walk up to any door, knock, say trick or treat, and random people drop loads of candy into your bucket.

I was surprised they waited until we got home to even begin eating their loot.  And they definitely got enough to tie them over until next year.

Full Force

Last night we decided it was about time for our first pumpkin carving party as a family.  It has been a LONG time since Dan and I carved pumpkins(we've never done it since we've known each other) so thankfully my mom had a bunch of awesome tools for us to use.

Camden tried convincing Dan to carve him a BYU or Iron Man pumpkin, but Dan quickly convinced him otherwise.

Jace could have cared less about carving.  He was purely entertained with the pumpkin guts and....

a razor blade.

Once we showed them "their" final product, they were pleased as punch.

Camden's is the scary tree from Monster House and Jace's is a "nice pirate".

And every one's favorite part {as always}, yummy roasted pumpkin seeds.

Bring on Halloween, the spirit is in full force around these parts!

Costume Saga

"I wish to be Iron Man for Halloween"

Ladies and Gentleman, wishes come true at our house.  Iron Man it is!

Camden and Jace are beyond thrilled every time they talk about and/or put on their costumes.

And Jace will have it be known that he is a "nice skeleton not a scary one, huh".

Camden asked that I "be sure to show this blue fhing in a picture, k".  I'm not really sure what this blue "fhing" does, but I know it looks pretty awesome.

Although I'm new to this superhero business, it has sure brought some interesting conversation up in our home and lots of smiles and magic.

I am Iron Man, na na na na na na na na Iron Man.

I am a skeleton, na na na na na na na na a skeleton.

Spooky

For the most part, our weather has been beautiful this past month.  I have found myself on many walks with the boys for entertainment and exercise.  Camden's frequent stops to pick up dandelions started to get to me until I paid better attention.  He was literally picking up every dandelion he saw to make a wish. The same wish.  One single wish that started to nibble on my emotions.

You see, I already had our cute and creative family costumes planned out.  My vision even included tricking Dan into dressing up with us.  But the one thing he kept wishing for started to eat me.  He was not talking about it in passing.  Not bringing it up one time.  But honestly wishing for it on every dang dandelion from our house to the park for the last month.

How could I not let his wildest dreams come true?  Even if it meant being mortified to admit I bought a trendy costume from Target.

I did it, I let his "wish come true" cause I knew it would make him "so so happy".  He picked "the most awesomest costume ever", and Jace too.

Can I just tell you how happy this made my kids.  They have been beaming from ear to ear.  Begging to wear their costume everyday.  So you better believe we have already worn it several times.  And because we are the awesomest, we have been two times to random corn field's nearby for a photo ops.

I bet you are dying to see the most anticipated and wished for costume of the year, aren't you?

Shoulda Woulda Coulda

Sometimes ideas seem a lot better in my head than when I actually put them into action.

Last night's dinner was one of those ideas I should have left in my head.

Mummy dogs dipped in blood and served with a cup of spider soup.

Even the name was rather un appealing to my poor victims.  I'll know better next year!

Festivities

Halloween festivities are in full bloom around these parts.

Yummy monster mouths.

Creepy monster eyeballs.

Good ol' Jack's rotten teeth.

And the world's greatest neighborhood harvest party.

Complete with skydiving superheros and a witch on her broom(aka dust cropper) dropping candy for the kids.

 And no holiday is complete without a story time costume party with our best library pal Caleb.