There aren't enough hours in the day around here. Life is busy. I'm well aware we aren't the only family that feels this way. But seeing how this is my blog and I'm allowed to use it for therapy purposes, I will! So fair warning, here it goes...
Dan and I don't have a lot of time together with just the two of us, let alone as a family of four. So when we are together I am trying to be more invested in that time. Sometimes I just need to be. Be a mom, be a wife, be a good listener, and be fun. In an effort to make those things possible I have tried extremely hard not to bring work home with me. I'm not talking about physically bringing work to do, but bringing the emotional baggage that comes along with work. And seeing how I work in a hospital, there tends to be emotion.
While at work I have noticed a large amount of "unfair" tragedy lately. And one of those tragedies seemed to consume a lot of my thoughts. I was sick for this family and what they were experiencing. I kept playing scenes in my head as if I were in their shoes. What would I do? How would I carry on? My heart couldn't help but ache for them and their pain. As I was leaving for the night I happened to ride in the elevator with some of this family. One of which was sobbing on the phone and said, "We don't deserve this. Why? Why us?" I was fighting back the tears and the NEED to reach over and cry with them. I wanted so badly for this trial to just disappear. It wasn't fair, they didn't deserve it, but they were now faced with it. I hated seeing them have to go out in the "normal" world. The people around them how NO IDEA the heartache they were enduring.
I took time on my drive home to clear my head and emotions. When I pulled up to our house I laid my head on the steering wheel and let out a good cry, found composure, and went inside.
So this got me thinking. There are people all around me going through things that only they know are going on. I have no idea what that "impatient mom" at the mall today had on her plate. I have no idea how exhausted the dad in his wheelchair at Wal-mart who happened to have a child with down syndrome must really be. I can't imagine how many people are hunting for jobs and yearning for a sense of security. How do we deal with real life, grown up things, and carry on?
Life is totally unfair, but in some weird way...totally worth it.