Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Important Things

Today I'm overwhelmed and having a hard time focusing on what I've deemed "important", ya know, the things that "need to be done right now".

Seeing how I've hit road block after road block while trying to complete these important tasks, I figure I should set them aside for now and focus my energy elsewhere. Apparently blogging or venting is what I need right now. Far too often I talk/vent my husbands ear off and since he is not here, my blog gets to listen. So ignore my madness and bear with me while I unload.

I'm not one for living in the past or holding on to regrets, but I came across this poem that seemed fitting for my mood. It just seems to put the right perspective in place.

If I Had My Life To Live Over
by Erma Bombeck
If I had my life to live over,
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more "I love you's".. More "I'm sorrys" ...But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it ... live it...and never give it back.

Lately there just aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish what I need. I'm positive others have, do, or will feel this very burden, but somehow still manage their way through life. I'm certain I live a life of luxury compared to some. But I am grateful to be intitled to feel overwhelmed and inadequate at times. And seeing how now is one of those times for me, I can honestly say it's humbling. No, there has not been any major crisis per say, but I have felt the many small as well as bigger things add up.

At this moment I feel the burden of working while trying to raise my son. The constant effort to finish the laundry, go grocery shopping, prepare dinner, clean tubs and toilets, nurture relationships, fulfill church callings, staying organized, and most importantly changing the world(lol). My list could go on for days, but I am also very aware of the good things in life that far out number my previous list. The huge box of children's books left anonymously on my doorstep, the thank you card in the mail, the phone call saying I'm needed, the generous Christmas gifts, the random hug. Letting me cut in line at target to purchase my basket full of items with a screaming child, taking my grocery cart once it was empty, free haircuts, and let us not forget my secret crush inviting me to his family party.

It's no wonder I feel so overwhelmed, life is full! Full of hard things and even more full with the good. I guess what this whole post comes down to, is me recognizing that I am truly blessed.

Now wish me luck while I attend to those important things that need to be done right now!


Tawnya said...

Oh great, now you've made me melancholy. ;-) I feel the same way a lot of the time. Being plagued with worries and wondering if I'm good enough...and then three years roll by and I can't believe I accomplished what I've done! You're such a wonderful, talented, beautiful person and every time I talk to you I resolve to get to know you better. Thank goodness for blogs!!

Aaron N Beki said...

LUCK! Luck! be yours!

Bubbly Faces said...

I sure love you Lissa!!

Amy C said...

Thanks for this post! It's always nice to be reminded of the little things to be thankful for!

Debbie said...

Is nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. You really are a great person, darling mom and have the cutest personalilty.

Heather said...

Lissa, you are such an amazing person. I love you so much and think of you often. keep your chin up. Not everyday is so hard...although it seems like it. I know what you mean by having to put effort into seeing the blessings instead of the hardships. Love you!

Casey said...

I feel this way a lot too, it's nice to know I'm not the only crazy one. I love the poem and might even have to steal for my own blog!

Rebecca said...

I love that poem. I like to read it every so often to keep me foucused on what's important, too. I've tried to do a good job of it, as my messy house can attest! LOL You are such a great woman! You're gonna make it! {{{hugs}}}


Your cute and I love you!