Saturday, November 15, 2008

And The Truth Shall Set You Free!

Yes, I am putting on weight. No, I did not get a boob job. Yes, my uterus is the size of a cantaloupe. No, I cannot complete a sentence without crying. Yes, I feel as bad as I look. No, we did not plan this. Yes, we are having a baby!!!

This all started in August when I was feeling like death. I KNEW I either had cancer or was pregnant. At the time I was hoping for the first one, but luckily got the second. I went to the dollar store, bought a pregnancy test(cause I was not about to spend 15 bucks on a "good" one). Used the bathroom and got my answer. I was positive Dan wouldn't believe me, so I went back to the counter and bought another one. The cashier thought I was absolutely nuts, and I pretty much was, but I didn't care.

Rewind one week back...

Dan just accepted a new job and I just told my boss I was coming back to work full time. These were two huge, emotional decisions for both of us. Needless to say, we were at each others throats. We were on a roller coaster ride that was just beginning!

Okay, back to the story...

After coming home from the dollar store and stewing for a few hours; I decided to fill Dan in on my little secret. He was standing in the kitchen so I strategically placed myself at the opposite end with easy access to the back door:) I then asked him if he wanted to know something that would "really throw him for a loop"? Then I said, "Um...we are pregnant!" With which he responded after several minutes of agony, "How? When?"

I felt like an irresponsible teenager that just broke the news to her boyfriend. For the next few hours we didn't say much to one another as we were both in a serious state of shock.

The days and weeks went on and I finally decided it would be wise to call the doctor. I was dreading the conversation with the receptionist because I knew she would ask me how far along I was, and I would again feel like that same teenager. But I did it anyway, and she did ask. I laughed(careful to hide the tears), told her I had no idea and made the appointment.

At our first appointment we were both shocked to find out we were 12 weeks along. At our second appointment I was shocked to hear a heartbeat because I still didn't believe what was going on. Now today I am shocked that I am admitting this is real. I felt the baby move last week and it was all downhill from there. It is true. This is really happening. We will be a family of four in April.

Although the timing of this little one is not how or when we expected, it is still a miracle. I feel blessed with a body that can conceive and carry a child. I feel blessed that Camden will get to be a big brother. But that doesn't take away from my fears. I am scared out of my mind to have two rug rats. I am scared to be working full time again while being pregnant. I am worried about where this one will sleep. What about daycare? How will I manage a toddler and a newborn after having a c-section? Don't even get me started on coming up with a name! The list is endless.

But, one thing I do know...I feel so much better now that this is out in the open. I can let my belly hang out. I can enjoy my midnight snacking. And I can gain weight and not have to worry!

14 comments:

Natenkell said...

Congratulations, Lissa! Is that the right word to use. I feel all of those feelings every time I get pregnant. Even if we did plan it. My kids start acting like people I don't know and I worry about taking care of them and a new baby. I think a lot of it is hormones. I'm sorry you have to go through it!! It will get better and they always just work their way into the family until you don't even know how you got along without them.

Bubbly Faces said...

FINALLY!! I was laughing so hard reading your post... You are a wonderful mother to Camden and will even be a better one the second time around. Plus if you want Camden to live with us for awhile he is more then welcome!!!!:)

Cara Fish said...

3 words...I LOVE YOU!

Kenzie said...

Lissa!!
I just found tears streaming down my face as i was reading your post! I am so so happy for you and scared of how jealous i am as i hold my 5 month old!! I am so so excited for you and know you will love it! Congrats!

Adam and Andrea Daveline said...

I know this might not be the timing you were looking for, but you guys take such great care of Camden, the Lord is trusting you with another wonderful bundle of joy! Congratulations!

Tawnya said...

It's not fair how things don't always work how you want them to, huh? I'm excited to see how cute the next one is!!

CANADIAN AMERICAN FAMILY said...

I wish I had some comforting words for you right now but as I am sitting here typing this I feel like crying because my son is crying my daughter is crying and I am on about 3 hours of sleep total and want to just die...BUT it is a blessing and I'm grateful Heavenly Father entrusts me with two and you will be a great mother of TWO!!!

fivewalkers said...

WOW! This is exciting news! You are totally justified in feeling the way you do. Just remember that Heavenly Father knows what you can handle. I promise that you can do this. If you need any advice or just want to talk to someone who has done it before, I am here for ya! Good Luck.

Debbie said...

I totally remember feeling that way when I got preg. with my second. We tried forever with the first and the 2nd was a surprise. They are only 14 months apart. It was crazy. I would have never planned it that way but I wouldn't trade it for the world now, they are the best of friends and I love it!

Jennifer Roper said...

Congrats Lissa!

Aaron N Beki said...

oh Lissa! This is awesome news! Congratulations...no really Heavenly Father just looked down on this wicked world and said hmmm who can I send this choice child too...and though you may think "uh me this is not the right time" you are doing something no one else can do and Heavenly Father believe's in you. Really its a compliment. this post made me cry and shout for joy at the same time. You will be blessed. I love you. Let me know what i can do.
Beki
p.s. Im comming thursday to bring my grandmother to the airport. We should do lunch or somethin?? i'll call

Casey said...

Wow!! I felt the same way being pregnant with the last one and we planned it! It'll all work out and you'll look back at this and laugh! Congrats!

Blake and BreeAnn said...

Oh my heck!
I had no idea!!
yay!
Congratulations!!!!!!

Rebecca said...

WOW! I'm out of it for a couple of weeks, behing on blogging and reading other blogs and I come back to this wonderful news!!! Congratulations! I know you're scared now, but you are such a great Mom. You're gonna be just fine, I promise! If I can do it you absolutely can!!!! We love you guys!