Several years ago Dan and I were in a position to do something we felt really good about. Something we did in secret and that made us happy. Instead of buying Christmas gifts for one another that year, we decided to take a good chunk of cash and leave it on someones porch anonymously. The very details of that night are still clear to me even though we have never spoke of it since; the dark street, where we parked our car, what we both wore, even who answered the door to find the envelope. But most importantly I can remember driving away with the distinct thought to "remember this". That family did not ask for money, nor would they have been disappointed had it not been there. But we wanted to do because we were in a position where we could. It felt right.
Fast forward to this past week. I was mopping the floor in my parents bathroom when I suddenly become rather emotional. These emotions got the best of me throughout the remainder of my cleaning. But once I finished my routine, I felt the urge to head out in the garage. As I opened the door I looked upon all of our "stuff" in one corner and the very thought came to me, "remember this".
Remember what? I thought to myself as feelings of self pity began to flood my mind. "Remember this!"
When Dan and I were faced with the opportunity to change employment and move to Idaho, things just seemed to flow. Although it happened fast, we both felt it was the right move for our future. I'm convinced it was no coincidence my parents home is so close to Dan's work. We both felt blessed to have been given the chance to move in with them for a short moment while we figured things out. We wanted to find a place to live that felt comfortable. We wanted to see the different areas and how far of commute. We needed to figure out what to do with our condo in Arizona. We wanted to feel good about the elementary schools nearby. I needed to seek employment.
Although it's never ideal to move back in with your parents, it didn't make sense to do it any other way. It felt right. The longer we are here, the more humbling it becomes. It's sometimes hard to see the big picture when I'm forced to look into a corner. At times I feel trapped and find myself dwelling on the "what ifs" and "if onlys". But it is experiences like looking in the garage when I am forced to remember that the Lord is into the very details of my life. I am forced to recognize that living here is our envelope of cash, if you will, that someone left on our porch. We didn't ask for it, nor would we have been disappointed if it weren't here. But we are beyond grateful for it.
So today I choose to remember this.