You know how some days are better than others? Today has been one of those "other" days.
For the last little while Camden has been waking up earlier than normal. I have tried everything(including parenting no-no's that I would regret later in life but seemed necessary at the moment) to correct this non-sense and nothing is working. So needless to say when Camden woke up at 6:30 this morning it was not a sign my day was headed for the dumps.
Trying to be a good mom and wife I headed back to the gym after being in a week long rut. The daycare doesn't open until 8am so Camden and I spent some quality time together until then(he played on the floor while I lay on the couch watching the news). Being the good mother I am; I knew he would be ready for a nap around 9am, so we arrived at the gym as soon as the daycare opened in order to be home around nap time. I worked out for one hour then went to pick Camden up. Careful not to let the term, "worked out" fool you. I merely made my presence on the tread mill, and lifted the lightest weights the gym had available. Anyway...on with my story...when I walked in the daycare room they had him in the crib(he was sitting up) and they proceeded to tell me he was hungry and exhausted. As sweet as they are, meaning nothing other than the simple truth, I took it as an insult to my parenting skills and how dare I work out during my kids nap time.
So we come home, he goes down for a nap and I get in the shower. By the time he woke up I still hadn't managed to get myself dressed, my hair was wet, and I had no make-up on. For some reason(I didn't eat before I "worked out") I didn't feel very good. After I fed him lunch and put some toys in front of him I decided I had better go make myself presentable. As I was doing so I heard him screaming, not whining for my attention, but really crying as if something was seriously wrong. So I ran downstairs and saw him sitting next to the couch clenching his fists together and crying. There was no blood to be found, no poop in his diaper, he had just eaten. I tried to play with him and show him just how cool his toys were, but the crying didn't stop. I picked him up and held him, I sang to him, nothing seemed to work. So I sat him on my lap and tried talking to him face to face, when all of a sudden I saw something black in his mouth(because it is wide open as he is crying). No joking, it was a BEE! Yes people, my son had a bee in his mouth. The poor kid was probably being stung, and crying for my help and I had no idea. As I pulled it out and started gagging, this only added to my insecurities of being the world's greatest mother.
After things had calmed down a bit I decided to go back upstairs and make myself presentable. So I put on my "fat" pants(you know the ones you wear when you feel terrible, and they make you look even worse than you feel, but they are comfy), threw on a huge shirt that is obviously stretched out from wearing it during my ninth month of pregnancy, when I noticed NO sound coming from downstairs. Every mom knows complete silence is never a good thing, so once again I darted downstairs to see what was going on NOW. Yep, to my dismay I forgot to close the door to the bathroom containing the dog's food and water. Camden was sitting in the water bowl, dog food was all over the floor, and he was enjoying one handful of dog food to himself and sharing the other handful with the dog.
Needless to say I still have no make-up on, dinner hasn't been thought of, but my son is alive and I will be able to laugh at this story in ten years from now because I took the time to document it.
Seriously, just hand me the Mother Of The Year award right now.