Note To Self...

Next time this handsome little devil has a red, itchy, viral rash covering his entire body...
Do NOT, I repeat, Do NOT give him any amount of Benadryl.
I thought I was making a wise and caring move when I gave Camden Benadryl to relieve some of his misery. Apparently it had an ill affect on him because he went bonkers. He was shaking in rage, biting(which up until today he hasn't started yet), and crying hysterically. I had to walk around outside with him in order to calm him down. Poor guy, hopefully the drugs won't linger in his system too long or we might have to commit him to the crazy house(oh wait, you might have to commit me)!

Letting It Out

Today I am feeling overwhelmed and just needed a place to put my thoughts for the night!

Even though Camden is just over one year old, going back to work has made me realize how much I took being a Mom for granted. I know, just because I went back to work doesn't mean I am any less of a mom, it just helped me realize what I love.

I love hearing Cam's first cry in the morning, wishing I could still be sleeping, but getting up to see him because I am a mom and that's what I do.

I love trying to sneak a kiss from him while he shakes his head "no" with a huge grin.

I love calling Dan to complain about the naughty things "his" son has done.

I love asking Camden if he is ready to go "nigh night" and he immediately blows kisses and heads for his room.

Today I was running an errand at work and on the way to my destination I saw a Dad trying to console his 16 month old and entertain his 5 year old. Recognizing the look of pure exhaustion on his face I made a pit stop and got them a box of crayons and a coloring book. The kids attention immediately turned to this new "gift" and Dad's to thank me. As stupid as it was, I couldn't hold back the tears when I walked away. It made me miss my boy. I may never say this again, but for that moment I missed wrestling with a tired toddler, I missed consoling an exhausted child, I missed being at home with Camden.

Tomorrow is his first day with his "real babysitter", I don't know what to feel. I feel scared they won't connect. I feel nervous he won't nap and will be super ornery. I feel bad waking him up earlier than normal to get dressed. I feel worried that he might be sad. I feel jealous that I might miss something funny he does. I feel mad because I can't be home with him.

But this is life for now, and it could be worse. So for now I will put my feelings here and leave them to worry about another day. Because after tomorrow and I am home with him for four straight days, and I just might be feeling otherwise.

Pay Back Time

Tuesday was my first day back to work full time. It didn't seem too bad because Dan was home with Camden all day. When I came home from work that night I found Camden tucked away in pleasant dreams. I missed him that day so I had to sneak in and take a picture of how cute he was. Little did I know I would be spending plenty of time with him in the next few hours.
He decided he did not want to be asleep and woke us up at 1230(midnight). After letting him cry it out for a LONG WHILE(I won't disclose the amount of time because you will find it neglectful), we tried rocking, eating, singing, playing, changing diapers, and laying down with him. Nothing seemed to work. He was awake until we dropped him off at Tiffani's around 6am. Needless to say Dan and I went to work exhausted and feeling like crap! I don't know how you working moms do this, because I am not cut out for it.

I'm not really sure what has made his sleeping patterns change so much in the last little while. He is almost 15 months, you think he would be able to sleep through the night. I guess he tricked us when he started sleeping really well at just 2 months old, now it is pay back time!

I am in desperate need of all and any suggestions on what to do for him and for a better nights sleep.