I am getting to the point in this pregnancy where I'm ready to be done being pregnant. Only this time it poses a small problem. I'm not ready to have this child come out! I'm not ready to be a mother to two little boys. I'm not ready to buy and change double the diapers. I'm not ready to pay twice as much for daycare. I'm not ready to live on little to no sleep. I'm not ready for those post pregnancy blues. I'm just not ready!
But one random trip to target got me a little closer to being ready. I saw lots of baby items, including diapers,on sale and couldn't pass it up. I have kept all these things in a bag on my table until today. As I was cleaning up and putting these new baby items away I started getting excited. There is something about getting excited that freaks me out! It's like I can't let myself be happy because this came as a surprise. But at the same time I love surprises, so why not love this one!!!
I've been thinking a lot about how life will be when this new guy arrives. I'm hopeful Camden will fall in love with him and being a big brother. I know we will make only having two bedrooms work. The sleepless nights won't last FOREVER. There are so many good things that outweigh the bad and scary thoughts.
I never understood when I heard mothers pregnant with their second child, question if they could love the second as much as the first. This is starting to make more sense. Having Camden has been the most extreme roller coaster ride for me. One minute I am so overwhelmed with the love I have for him, and the next I wonder how he's made it this far without me killing him. Yes, I can guarantee I will love this second child. I already do! But before I had Camden I never knew a love so great. So I guess having two brings a whole new dimension to that love. Camden will always be special for making me a mom. But this second child will forever be special because he made Camden a brother.