three against one

One Word

2012-02-13T22:42:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to write this post. I guess I take choosing my word pretty seriously. I want to focus on a word that will make me a better person, friend, mom, spouse, daughter, and sister. Not just something I can pretend to work on. Something I really want to be better at.

As I was mulling over a few different words trying to narrow them down, I started to notice something about myself that I didn't care for. It was then I knew I needed to focus this next year on really trying to LISTEN.Listen not to respond but to understand.

Listen to my kids.

Listen to others.

Listen to my body.

Listen to my Heavenly Father.

This year I will try a little harder to listen a little deeper.

Snow Day

2012-01-18T21:33:00.075-07:00

Other than freezing cold temperatures, the winter here hasn't been too bad. Last week we walked though a parking lot that had just been sprinkled with salt to help the rain from freezing into ice. Camden started screaming for me to look at all the snow, and Jace was freaking out because "Santa comes with snow"! They clearly have no idea what winter is all about.

You can imagine their excitement when we woke up to a yard quickly filling with snow. They started begging from the minute we woke up to go outside and play. That's when I realized we are not equipped with proper snow gear. So we improvised!

2 shirts, 2 coats, Nanny's cheap gloves, 1 pair of pajama pants underneath a pair of sweats, topped with Levis. Socks and shoes like normal, covered with a plastic grocery bag, held in place with mom's awesome tube socks! And believe it or not, they actually stayed somewhat dry.

My snowman building skills were a little rusty, but together we managed to come up with a pretty good looking Frosty.

After we got done building the snow man, Camden proceeded to lay in the snow making "snow guys"(snow angels). He also insisted we have a snow ball fight and eat all the "white snow" because he learned "how to play in the snow from TV". I'm grateful the TV provided our family with perfect instructions for a fun afternoon in the snow.

Dentist

2012-01-17T15:57:00.062-07:00

(Picture coming)

Jace man's first and last trip to the dentist didn't go over very smoothly, but I knew I needed to give it another try. I made the appointment, and mentioned it to Jace. His reaction was the same as last time, flat out refusal. Luckily I had 3 weeks to convince him it was a good idea to go. I tucked it in the back of my mind and knew I had to come up with something good in order to make this work.

Fast forward to yesterday. I had to return something to Old Navy and brought Dan and the boys with me. While wandering the store, Jace found a superhero shirt he couldn't live without. I secretly bought one for him and Camden thinking I could give it to them as a Valentine's day gift. As we headed home from the store, the dental office called and had a cancellation the very next day. I took the appointment and began to panic. I hadn't had enough time to convince Jace it was a good idea to let the dentist check his mouth. When all of the sudden I remembered the superhero shirts.

That night I showed the boys my purchase and told them they could only wear their shirt if they accepted the first mission assignment as a superhero. After agreeing to my terms I filled them in on their assignment: "To let the dentist count all the teeth in their mouth". It worked, Jace was on board.

I went first and had Jace sit on my lap during the entire cleaning and check up. He didn't make a peep. Next it was his turn and he didn't even bat an eye. Hopped right up in the chair, showed the hygienist his shirt, and she went to town. Not only did the dentist count his teeth but he got a full cleaning and fluoride treatment!

Mission Accomplished.

YW Ideas

2012-01-06T19:03:00.000-07:00

I have a tendency to search the Internet for ideas to use in Young Women, but never return the favor by sharing any myself. So here is my attempt at sharing of few recent ideas that might help someone else who is searching.

For birthday gifts this year we decided to incorporate the 2012 Mutual Theme. We bought these cute night lights for a great deal and I designed a label to place over the top. Package that up with some chocolate and a cute ribbon, call it cute!

Using the same design idea as the birthday gifts, I added the rest of the theme and printed it on card stock for our binder inserts.

For Young Women in Excellence last month, our theme was "Live Like You Believe". We created a video of all our Young Women that was similar to this one. And the take home gift for the girls was a t-shirt(in their favorite color) with that same theme printed on the front. Roll up the shirt, add a tulle bow and WHAM- perfect gift.

We are also having this years theme printed on vinyl so the girls can do with it what they'd like.(If I wasn't so computer illiterate I would know how to post what I designed another way besides taking a picture of my computer screen. Oh well)

I don't have a picture of this(dang it, I wish I had recorded it), but during the month of December we had a combined activity with all of our youth(about 100 youth ages 12-18). They called it "flash mob caroling". We were divided into groups of about 5-8 people and entered the local grocery store sporadically. After we were all in our places(strategically scattered throughout the store), one person began singing a Christmas carol and the rest of us followed. We continued singing as we headed to the front of the store and lined up near the cash registers. We continued singing just a few songs before leaving. Employees were crying, customers were grateful, and the spirit was definitely felt. The store manager(who was notified of what would be going on before we arrived) called our contact person the following morning and thanked her for what our group did. He invited us to come back often and do it again. It was a memorable activity.

Kind of a random post, but nice to have a place for ideas.

Night Owl

2012-01-01T16:46:00.003-07:00

I've never been much of a night owl and always have a hard time staying up past 10 o'clock. But this year was a little different.

Thanks to my folks, Dan and I went out for a late dinner just the two us. After getting home we watched the anti climatic "2011 Red Bull: New Year. No Limits" with my dad.

As I was getting ready for bed I noticed my dad had a few fireworks out on the counter. The little boy in him was jumping out of his shell waiting for the clock to strike midnight. I couldn't resist joining him on this childish adventure.

When midnight struck we wandered out into the street. He played with fire, and we both giggled that his were the biggest and baddest fireworks in the neighborhood.

Too bad he still doesn't know how to be careful when playing with fire in the wind. He began the new year with a minor burn and I with a smirk.

Happy New year!

Tis the Season

2011-12-30T14:05:00.001-07:00

Man oh man am I behind! So much to blog about and so many pictures. I feel overwhelmed trying to give justice to everything we got to do this Christmas. So here is the readers digest version.

We enjoyed lots of Christmas stories from Nanny's collection of picture books.

Got matching jammies(a perk for being willing to model for Nanny's quilt store)to wear Christmas eve.

Left yummy treats for Santa that were quickly gobbled right up.

Made Rudolph cookies in our Halloween costume.

Got to meet our baby(who isn't a baby anymore, sniff sniff) cousin for the first time.

Worked hard on "gifts" we could give back to the Savior as the month went on.

Tried our best to focus on the reason for this Christmas season.

Got to visit family in Utah.

Did lots of lounging around and eating.

And got completely spoiled on Christmas day.

The end.

Feeling Jumbled

2011-12-20T21:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like I can't explain the way I feel. It's as if what I'm feeling contradicts itself.

Last week I received a Christmas card in the mail from a neighbor who I serve with in the Young Women's program. She had sent one addressed to my parents, and another addressed to my little family of 4. I wasn't quite sure why I was so grateful for this card until later that evening.

I guess it started while I was attending the Relief Society Christmas party. The evening was very well thought out, and had a sweet spirit along with it. I knew several other women there and I definitely didn't feel alone. But during the middle of the program I felt very out of place. It felt like I had nothing in common with those people around me. I felt like they could never understand where I was coming from and vice versa. That's when my bad attitude started to creep in. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to be in Idaho anymore.

As I walked towards the door to leave, I happened to pass the person who sent the Christmas card I opened earlier that day. I couldn't help but thank her for sending me a card. I told her it was very sweet to address one separately, just for me. Another lady overheard and asked her why she did that. Why she used another stamp if we live in the same house. She explained how she felt that she had lost her identity when she lived with her in-laws for a period of time. She didn't want me to feel that way.

I fought back the tears in front of her that night but came home, curled up in my bed and let them fall. And that is when the contradiction started.

I am happier with life more right now, than I have been in a long time. I am mentally in a place that feels so good. I love being so much closer to family and seeing my kids get to know them better. Dan's job here was an answer to so many prayers. I feel so blessed to have the support and help of my parents and little brother. They have made it so easy to live here and I can see how hard they've tried to let us be our own family. I honestly feel like I can't complain about how things are.

At the exact same time I feel like life is in limbo. I feel chaotic and out of place. I'm hoping to strike gold and get a place of our own. I miss my routine and my own life in Arizona. I miss our ward and friends. I feel guilty for the convenience of having "built-in" babysitters.

The thought of putting my feelings together confuses me to the core. I guess it is sort of losing your identity. But at the same time, I feel like I've found the identity I have spent the last few years searching for.

Tradition

2011-12-13T21:53:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of favorite Christmas traditions and decorating gingerbread houses is definitely one of them. One thing that was different this year...I finally put on my big girl pants and learned how to make them from scratch. My very own set of(special made) cookie cutters was passed on to me and I put them to work.

After everyone finished decorating, Camden kept saying he was sad his wasn't as cool as the others. Seriously, does self doubt and self consciousness really have to start at age four? Not fair.

Camden's house on the left, Jace Man's on the right. I think they turned out pretty darn good.

Sneak Peak

2011-12-10T21:56:00.000-07:00

A new aquarium is opening up here in town and this weekend we got back stage passes before the grand opening.

Camden was a little nervous about putting his hands in the water, but Jace practically jumped in for a swim.

There were several interactive exhibits where Jace enjoyed holding baby shark eggs, and touching starfish.

I have a feeling we will be going back for more(after Santa comes with our Season pass).

Camden-1, Jace-Goose egg

2011-12-09T10:19:00.000-07:00

I'd be lying if I said I was surprised when I received the following text from Dan last night:

"Jace may or may not have just crashed his head in the wall and left a big hole"

It's bound to happen with two boys, but it's unfortunate it had to be in my parents house. Whoops.

Dan said they were racing to bed when Camden felt the need to push Jace and ensure a victory on his part. Too bad Camden felt worse about the accident than he would have about losing the race.

A Friend With Benefits

2011-12-04T16:38:00.036-07:00

Our favorite Ya Ya happened to score a sweet job with an airline company. Lucky for us, we were the recipients of her awesome benefits.

We visited the local craft fair, and had the pleasure of sitting on Santa's lap for the first time this season.

Apparently seeing Santa got Ya Ya in the Christmas mood. She stopped by the first tree lot we passed and bought the kids their very own fresh Christmas tree. Leave it to Ya Ya to let them pick out their own ornaments and decorate until their hearts were content. They are so excited about their own tree and have to show everyone who comes to our house.

Thanks for a fun, spur of the moment visit.

Arthur Christmas

2011-11-30T09:40:00.026-07:00

Dan has been working two jobs which means he is gone most of the day. Often he leaves before the kids wake up and gets home after they are in bed. So when he got home last night before it was too late, he was begging to do something fun with the boys.

So fun we did.

I was worried how the kids would handle a late movie on a day with no nap. But thankfully it was a school night and we were the only ones in the theater so I didn't have to worry.

Toothfairy

2011-11-29T21:10:00.000-07:00

One of the first Sunday's at church here in Idaho, a sweet lady invited me to come to library with her and her grand kids the following Tuesday. I was so thankful someone recognized we were new and reached out to befriend me. Her grand kids have become good friends with my boys and we enjoy doing things together.

As we drive to the library each week, we pass by a dentist office with a lighthouse out front. Her grandson Caleb always asks if he can go in it. So one day she called the dentist office and apparently that is where the Toothfairy lives. They graciously invited us to come take a tour.

It was the cutest little place I've ever seen. Everything was miniature, pink and full of sparkles.

We got to see some of the teeth she has collected from all over the world before she grinds them up into fairy dust.

Unfortunately she is one busy lady and wasn't there today. Luckily she had teeny tiny pieces of paper for us to leave her a letter.

Thankful

2011-11-24T20:46:00.001-07:00

We love Thanksgiving around these parts and have so much to be grateful for.

I love the silly little crafts my kids create but hate having them around for clutter. I figure if I take a picture it is just as good as saving it, right? This is what Jace brought home from Nursery.

This year we had a thankful tree. Small tags were left out all month and we could write as we pleased.

I am thankful for:

family

a heater in my house and car

my walking buddies

my calling

Dan's jobs

family deserves two spots on my list-especially my parents and little brother

slippers

testimony

Before eating ourselves sick we hit up the bowling alley.

I'm pretty sure Camden and Jace had better scores than most of us.

I have to document this picture because it is a rare accomplishment. Getting both of my parents smiling a real smile at the same time is something to be documented. They must really like the bowling alley! Maybe someday I will get them both looking and smiling, but for now this will do.

Drawing 101

2011-11-18T14:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Camden asked if he could draw a picture for Dad since he is out of town. I happily got the bag of crayons and a few pieces of paper, anticipating a little time to myself. But I had this nagging feeling it was time for a little drawing lesson.

Up until this point Camden just "scribbled" on paper and when asked what he colored, he looked at me like I was crazy. I guess I thought kids just magically learned how to draw things. But seeing how I never draw because I lack that gene, why would I expect them to know how. So I busted out my stick figure skills and told him to give it a try.

Call it sappy but I got a bit chocked up when I noticed he really did learn something from me. So I excitedly asked him about his drawing.

"It's one, two, three, four aliens getting sucked up in that spaceship. And these(pointing to all the random dots) are Chewie's feets of mud all over everywhere."

And his(ok, mine too) favorite part of this masterpiece was on the back side.

"Look! It's you having a hard day mom."

Goodbye

2011-11-14T22:02:00.000-07:00

Today I loaned a few baby items to a friend for her grand baby who is coming to visit. I may or may not have smelled them before I sent them out the door. The scent of my babies is rather faint, probably gone. It broke my heart. Before I know it, my 4 and 2 year old will be long gone.

Today at four years old Camden is rather sassy. He seems to enjoy talking back and not listening to discipline.

At two Jace can carry on a full conversation as if he were an adult. The wheels in his head are just spinning with all the information he is trying to soak in.

Both of them never stop talking.

Camden pointed to a lady in the store this morning and said, "Look, big fat". It broke my heart. His innocence was escaping the jar I thought I bottled up so tight.

I have felt somber all day as I realized my kids are growing up right before my eyes.

One Last Picture(cell phone style)

2011-11-01T18:31:00.000-07:00

Trick or treating this year was extra fun. Camden is at such a fun age, he was soaking it all in. I'm pretty sure it helped having his cousin Jenna confidently show him the ropes. And Jace was in his own world.

I could only imagine the thoughts going through their heads. How awesome it is to walk up to any door, knock, say trick or treat, and random people drop loads of candy into your bucket.

I was surprised they waited until we got home to even begin eating their loot. And they definitely got enough to tie them over until next year.

Full Force

2011-10-31T08:13:00.000-07:00

Last night we decided it was about time for our first pumpkin carving party as a family. It has been a LONG time since Dan and I carved pumpkins(we've never done it since we've known each other) so thankfully my mom had a bunch of awesome tools for us to use.

Camden tried convincing Dan to carve him a BYU or Iron Man pumpkin, but Dan quickly convinced him otherwise.

Jace could have cared less about carving. He was purely entertained with the pumpkin guts and....

a razor blade.

Once we showed them "their" final product, they were pleased as punch.

Camden's is the scary tree from Monster House and Jace's is a "nice pirate".

And every one's favorite part {as always}, yummy roasted pumpkin seeds.

Bring on Halloween, the spirit is in full force around these parts!

Costume Saga

2011-10-30T14:24:00.000-07:00

"I wish to be Iron Man for Halloween"

Ladies and Gentleman, wishes come true at our house. Iron Man it is!

Camden and Jace are beyond thrilled every time they talk about and/or put on their costumes.

And Jace will have it be known that he is a "nice skeleton not a scary one, huh".

Camden asked that I "be sure to show this blue fhing in a picture, k". I'm not really sure what this blue "fhing" does, but I know it looks pretty awesome.

Although I'm new to this superhero business, it has sure brought some interesting conversation up in our home and lots of smiles and magic.

I am Iron Man, na na na na na na na na Iron Man.

I am a skeleton, na na na na na na na na a skeleton.

Spooky

2011-10-29T12:55:00.000-07:00

For the most part, our weather has been beautiful this past month. I have found myself on many walks with the boys for entertainment and exercise. Camden's frequent stops to pick up dandelions started to get to me until I paid better attention. He was literally picking up every dandelion he saw to make a wish. The same wish. One single wish that started to nibble on my emotions.

You see, I already had our cute and creative family costumes planned out. My vision even included tricking Dan into dressing up with us. But the one thing he kept wishing for started to eat me. He was not talking about it in passing. Not bringing it up one time. But honestly wishing for it on every dang dandelion from our house to the park for the last month.

How could I not let his wildest dreams come true? Even if it meant being mortified to admit I bought a trendy costume from Target.

I did it, I let his "wish come true" cause I knew it would make him "so so happy". He picked "the most awesomest costume ever", and Jace too.

Can I just tell you how happy this made my kids. They have been beaming from ear to ear. Begging to wear their costume everyday. So you better believe we have already worn it several times. And because we are the awesomest, we have been two times to random corn field's nearby for a photo ops.

I bet you are dying to see the most anticipated and wished for costume of the year, aren't you?

Shoulda Woulda Coulda

2011-10-28T09:16:00.002-07:00

Sometimes ideas seem a lot better in my head than when I actually put them into action.

Last night's dinner was one of those ideas I should have left in my head.

Mummy dogs dipped in blood and served with a cup of spider soup.

Even the name was rather un appealing to my poor victims. I'll know better next year!

Festivities

2011-10-27T11:13:00.001-07:00

Halloween festivities are in full bloom around these parts.

Yummy monster mouths.

Creepy monster eyeballs.

Good ol' Jack's rotten teeth.

And the world's greatest neighborhood harvest party.

Complete with skydiving superheros and a witch on her broom(aka dust cropper) dropping candy for the kids.

And no holiday is complete without a story time costume party with our best library pal Caleb.

Fall

2011-10-26T10:37:00.002-07:00

It is here in full bloom.

Welcome back to my life.

I have missed your beauty.

And forgotten about your bitter cold mornings.

But I'll take it if it means enjoying this each night!

Cell Phone Proof

2011-10-25T20:55:00.000-07:00

Lest my children try telling me we never do anything fun...I have proof!

We have done several blog worthy things this month. While I have been busy enjoying those things with my boys, I have fallen behind in documenting them. So here is a small recap of our fun.

The local fire department had an open house and we were sure to attend. My boys soaked it all up; the hats, trucks, motorcycles, dogs, treats, whistles, sirens, horns, and balloons.

Nothing more exciting than a package in the mail from Aunt Charlie and Uncle Kelby.

A late night Steelhead's hockey game.

Harvesting our own pumpkins.

And a small town circus.

Take that for not doing anything fun!

Remember this!

2011-10-08T13:12:00.005-07:00

Several years ago Dan and I were in a position to do something we felt really good about. Something we did in secret and that made us happy. Instead of buying Christmas gifts for one another that year, we decided to take a good chunk of cash and leave it on someones porch anonymously. The very details of that night are still clear to me even though we have never spoke of it since; the dark street, where we parked our car, what we both wore, even who answered the door to find the envelope. But most importantly I can remember driving away with the distinct thought to "remember this". That family did not ask for money, nor would they have been disappointed had it not been there. But we wanted to do because we were in a position where we could. It felt right.

Fast forward to this past week. I was mopping the floor in my parents bathroom when I suddenly become rather emotional. These emotions got the best of me throughout the remainder of my cleaning. But once I finished my routine, I felt the urge to head out in the garage. As I opened the door I looked upon all of our "stuff" in one corner and the very thought came to me, "remember this".

Remember what? I thought to myself as feelings of self pity began to flood my mind. "Remember this!"

When Dan and I were faced with the opportunity to change employment and move to Idaho, things just seemed to flow. Although it happened fast, we both felt it was the right move for our future. I'm convinced it was no coincidence my parents home is so close to Dan's work. We both felt blessed to have been given the chance to move in with them for a short moment while we figured things out. We wanted to find a place to live that felt comfortable. We wanted to see the different areas and how far of commute. We needed to figure out what to do with our condo in Arizona. We wanted to feel good about the elementary schools nearby. I needed to seek employment.

Although it's never ideal to move back in with your parents, it didn't make sense to do it any other way. It felt right. The longer we are here, the more humbling it becomes. It's sometimes hard to see the big picture when I'm forced to look into a corner. At times I feel trapped and find myself dwelling on the "what ifs" and "if onlys". But it is experiences like looking in the garage when I am forced to remember that the Lord is into the very details of my life. I am forced to recognize that living here is our envelope of cash, if you will, that someone left on our porch. We didn't ask for it, nor would we have been disappointed if it weren't here. But we are beyond grateful for it.

So today I choose to remember this.

Shh...

2011-10-06T20:03:00.000-07:00

Don't tell anyone but I may or may not have found myself enjoying this during naptime today.

Diet Dr. Pepper, a handful of candy corn, a hot bubble bath, and 2 episodes of Revenge.

It was the perfect getaway!

C. A. M. D. E. N.

2011-10-05T10:57:00.002-07:00

I have had mixed feelings about putting Camden in preschool. So last night instead of beating myself up, I rededicated myself to help him focus on a few things that might make him feel more confident as he enters kindergarten next year. Of course Jace had to get in on the action too.

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

Never Do Anything Fun

2011-10-04T13:10:00.000-07:00

Apparently Camden lives a pretty boring life. I swear I heard him say, "we never do anything fun" about 58 times yesterday. Even though we jumped on the tramp, took Chewie for a walk, played Frisbee with the neighbor boy, rode our bikes, looked at Halloween decorations outside, threw rocks in the pond, played on the playground, took pictures on my phone, Camden was still bored.

So yesterday after dinner this is what the fly on our wall heard:

Camden: We NEVER do anything fun!

Me: What are you talking about? We did tons of fun things today!

Camden: No way, we just never do anything fun. We just sit sit sit.

Me: Ok what would you like to do that sounds fun?

Camden: You have to chose.

Me:(not really wanting to do anything else for the day) We could read a book.

Camden: Not fun.

Me: We could...sing a song.

Camden: Not fun.

Me: You could go in your room and play with Jace Man.

Camden: Not fun.

Me: We could skip baths tonight and just go to bed.

Camden: Try again.

Me: We could take a shower in Uncle Caleb's shower.

Camden: Nope.

Me: We could take a shower in Mom's shower.

Camden: Nope.

Me: Nanny and Papa's shower?

Camden: See we never do anything fun!

Me: Oh I know...how about we take a shower with our flip flops on!

Camden:(jumping up and down screaming) Yeah, this is gonna be freakin awesome.

And freakin awesome it was!

DAY 30-I MADE IT

2011-09-30T22:04:00.000-07:00

It feels good to have made it through my "Thirty Days Hath September" challenge, only missing one day. Of course before finishing this last post for the month I had to write about Day 22, the wedding. I have loved remembering all these "small details" about our everyday life.

During the past few days while exercising in the morning, I have felt pretty dizzy. Today it hit me hard. I wanted to lay down on the sidewalk and wait for it to pass, or better yet throw up. Luckily when I felt the worst I was right in front of the fire station. Those dang men are always up and at it so early. And of course I am too prideful to let them see me laying down or even dry heave. So I made it home and tried to veg on the couch. It wasn't long before two little boys were begging for breakfast and could hardly stand my laziness.

We made it out the door for some very important errands. The most important was getting our conference games laminated. Camden can hardly wait until I let him play. The next stop was Target for conference treats and cute little man gloves before the winter weather scares us any more.

After naps we attempted to mow the lawn. Shortly after we began, a pain in the butt mutt who Dan lovingly refers to as Chewie, decided to run a muck through the neighborhood. Normally I wouldn't care because she's too spoiled to not come back. But I'd hate for the neighbors to complain, so off I went looking like a fool. She seriously sat on her hind legs, butt dragging on the cement, while I pulled her collar. I was furious!

Once I got that blasted animal home, I was sure to text Dan something about skinning his furry baby and making her into a rug. Cause I'm nice like that.

We finished the lawn and got to harvest the garden.

Now the boys are in bed. Dan just finished watching the BYU game, and we are waiting up for a friend who is staying the night. It's almost 11:30pm and I'm ready to hit the hay. I better rest up for another ordinarily crazy day tomorrow.

DAY 29

2011-09-29T21:32:00.002-07:00

Today was pretty uneventful. Just one of those days, ya know?

If I could designate one day of the week for cleaning, it would be Thursday. I hate doing it on Saturday when I should be having fun with people who are not normally home during the week. And just in case something comes up or I don't finish Thursday, I can use Friday as a buffer.

So today I cleaned and washed bathroom towels and rugs. The kids were bored, but they survived.

Camden "bretended" to be a rockstar. And we must not forget when he was mad at Dan this morning he told him, "I will call the police to come and get you!"

Jace was his normal animated self, who gave all sorts of kisses today while rubbing my cheek.

And the cows were...cows are scary to me.

Later this evening we went with Papa to pick up a trailer. These mean looking guys just happen to live right by the trailer. Why are baby calves cute, yet big daddy cows so frightening?

After the boys went down, I spent the rest of my evening putting together fun conference packets for this weekend.

DAY 28

2011-09-28T23:26:00.067-07:00

I'm starting to get nervous about the cold weather that is coming upon us. I have a feeling our park days are slowly coming to an end. Although I froze to death, we enjoyed a picnic at the park for lunch. Of course the kids don't eat much, but they sure do play hard. We had to wake Jace up from his nap at 5pm!

While at the park, the boys gravitated towards two other brothers who happened to be their same ages. They all played so well together and even shared Rice Krispie treats. As I sat and watched all four of them interact, I sorta got teary eyed when the younger friend called his older sibling "brother", instead of by his real name.

Up until the end of August Jace never called Camden by his given name, it was always "brudda". Now that he no longer uses that term of endearment, I feel like he has lost a tiny bit more of his baby-ness. He is growing up, using proper words, and will probably move off to college tomorrow.

Tonight for YW with the Beehives, we had a service scavenger hunt. It was tons of fun and brought out quite a competitive spirit in girls I didn't know possessed such a thing! Everyone had fun and the winning team was nice enough to share their prize. It was a success.

After YW I headed to Chilli's for a late night snack with one of the other leaders. We seriously laughed our tails off until 11pm. It was nice to get out and start to feel like I'm fitting in. Why is it that we still feel the need to fit in somewhere even when we are older?

DAY 27

2011-09-27T19:00:00.001-07:00

I have a friend who invites me to library time with her and her two grand kids. We go every Tuesday morning and my boys jump up and down when I tell them it's library day.

We always start by signing "I'm gonna drive my car". After singing, the librarian invites all the kids to move up closer by the felt board where she tells her stories. Jace is always the first one up and the closest to the action. Camden is more timid and refuses to move off my lap, except for today. Alaura's grandson Caleb walked up to Camden, put his hand out, and said, "Come on friend". The smile on Camden's face was the size of Texas. He seriously couldn't have been happier in that moment. They both walked up, sat in the circle, and no kidding...put their arms around each others shoulders. I about died.

After the library we all headed to the park. Of course these two boys couldn't ride in separate cars, they did not want to be apart.

Camden and Caleb were inseparable. Camden kept saying, "He's my best friend!".

On the other hand Jace kept asking Haley if she wanted to slap him, which I think is hilarious. And I find it even more funny that she just completely ignored him!

Later today as I rode in the car with my mom I mentioned how proud I was of Jace. It has been 9 days since his last potty accident. But the second I said something I knew I shouldn't have.

After dinner I found Jace on the tramp standing as still as he possibly could. His butt was pushed out and his eyes were big. I walked out to get him and he immediately said, "It was an accident, I love you." all while hugging and kissing my face obsessively. Sigh!

DAY 26

2011-09-26T20:39:00.001-07:00

The weather is getting cooler and Dan's hours at work are changing. With that change in his work schedule, came three days off in a row. Which meant I jumped at the chance to work for a friend taking on a big project I knew couldn't be completed with my boys in tow. She has two, not very functional pantries that needed organization.

Of course I forgot to get pictures before I started. Luckily I remembered to capture the end product.

This first pantry picture was kind of hard to capture how nice it looked. You can sorta see the slanted ceiling and odd space I got to walk in and out of for a good chuck of my day. Yes, my back is aching.

And the second pantry had really deep shelves which previously had quite a bit of weight on them. I tried to evenly distribute the weight while still making it functional.

It feels good to have it done and I hope it helps her feel better about her space.

DAY 25

2011-09-25T20:49:00.001-07:00

It's always refreshing coming home from vacation and getting back to reality. Even when reality isn't exactly what you want it to be, there is a sense of peace that comes with your own routine.

During the first 5 minutes of Sacrament meeting today, Camden had to be taken out. He likes to act tough when we are out in public. He chooses to test my patience just a little more because he thinks I won't follow through with discipline when others are around. His latest trick is pulling his fist back like he's gonna punch you whenever you say something controversial to his thinking.

"Camden please put that bag away, it's too noisy and we don't play with it at church."

He twists the bag up and tries extra hard to make more noise than he was before I said anything.

"Camden!" I give him the look of death.

He crunches the bag to make more noise while laughing in my face.

"I won't ask you again. You have two choices; you can put the bag away, or you can keep playing with it and I'll take you out in the hall. You choose."

He pulls the hand not crunching the noisy bag back into a fist, grits his teeth, and growls.

Out came the Lobster claw to drag him outside while he screams, "I won't do that again, you are hurting me!"

I followed through with the threat. He sat outside on the curb in timeout and was embarrassed when people were looking at him.

Fast forward to the last 10 minutes of sacrament meeting. Out of no where Jace becomes hysterical for a drink of water. There is no way to reason with him. He doesn't understand why he has to wait until after the meeting. It's only ten minutes. But those ten minutes were pure torture. It would have been so much easier for both he and I(and everyone within hearing distance) if I had just let him have the blasted drink of water. But I'm convinced he will be a better Dad someday when he fully understands and appreciates why I think he can go 1 hour and 10 minutes without a snack or drink. But until he can understand that, I am just torturing him for the fun of it.

Seriously? This is the normal life I enjoy and feel refreshed to come back to?

To make myself feel better, I enlisted the help of Dan and my Mom to make a mean ol' batch of fresh salsa.

I feel better already.

DAY 24

2011-09-24T20:49:00.000-07:00

Last week when we drove to Utah I started feeling a little car sick. I thought it was a fluke because I've never had that problem before. But the next day while in the temple I started feeling the same thing, a little motion sick.

And today as we drove back home to Idaho it hit me pretty dang hard. Ya know, hard enough I had to throw up. So much for finishing my book, instead I got to stare ahead the entire ride. It was boring but my symptoms never ceased.

We made it home and I still just sorta feel like I'm in a daze now. I had good intentions of blogging about the wedding for memory sake. But as I sit and stare at the computer my mystery sickness is coming back. I guess I had better get to bed because this is making me crazy in the head!

DAY 23

2011-09-23T20:52:00.002-07:00

This morning we woke our tired bodies up and made our way to the Great Salt Lake. I'm seriously so lucky to have such a talented brother for my personal photographer, and a generous sister for our very own assistant. While out at the lake we all had to take our shoes off to get in the water, you should have heard Camden screaming in fear. He is my clean child and could NOT stand walking on the "bugs" and the salty, smelly, sand. I'm crossing my fingers Chad was able to capture at least one good shot.

After pictures we made our way back to my Nanny and Papa's house to hang out. Kristianne had the day off and we enjoyed relaxing, and playing some serious rounds of Rummikub.

Next up on the agenda for today was a BYU game. As soon as Dan found out the exact date for Charly's wedding, he was thrilled how conveniently scheduled it was with "his team".

Lucky for him, he was able to round up a few others who were willing to enjoy game day with him.

Dan has been talking about bringing Camden to a game for quite some time now. Camden has been so excited he could hardly stand it! For the last hour before they actually got in the car to leave, Camden asked the time every 2-3 minutes. He had been told they were leaving at 2:30 and it must have felt like an eternity to him.

I'm pretty sure Jace and I had just as much fun staying home as they did at the game. The yelling and cheering are out of control in my Nanny and Papa's house. They take game day pretty serious around here, headphones in to listen while they watch it on TV.

I'm sure I'll be asleep when they all make it home after tonight's big win, but I can't wait to hear how it all went down.

Aunt Sassy left for home today. This was her first time meeting Jace and that breaks my heart. The next time she will see him, he will be a completely different person. It was a short visit but fun to see her again.

Now that the wedding is over, things are starting to wind and the adrenaline is wearing off. I'm pretty sure I won't be awake for the car ride home tomorrow! Back to reality.

DAY 22

2011-09-22T23:59:00.115-07:00

Today was the big day. Carly and Kelby tied the knot.

After tons of arranging on who would be where, at what time, and in which car, we all made it. Those who attended the temple arrived at 9:30am. We all got seated and I was perfectly content to be there between Dan and Kristianne. Right before the sealing began, my mom leaned over and whispered something to Carly. Carly's eyes filled with tears almost as quickly as mom's, and mine followed right after. It was perfectly beautiful and a sweet reminder of what took place for Dan and I over 6 years ago.

After the temple we all had our jobs. Mine was to pick up the cake and get it to the Olive Garden for lunch. They were still putting on the "final touches" when we arrived. While waiting, those of us in the car got a chance to sneak a taste of a few yummy cupcakes and Italian soda from the shop.

Carly served yummy sugar cookies but wanted a small cake top to cut. When the baker brought it out I about fell over. I was not expecting it to be that big, but it was so perfect. It was so Carly.

Lunch was delicious, of course because I'm all for eating at a good restaurant instead of a fancy smanchy place with crappy food. It was fun to see so many family members and friends who came to celebrate. Right after Kelby's Dad offered a blessing on the food Jace yelled, "ha ha I didn't close my eyes".

We headed back to the hotel room for a short while before the open house started. Kelby's family hosted it in their backyard and had Coldstone creamery cater. After loading up on sugar, my boys had a blast running around playing in the stream.

Of course the only pictures I took were on my phone, hence the blurriness. It's a darn good thing I have connections with their amazing photographer.

DAY 21

2011-09-21T23:30:00.026-07:00

In honor of Charly's big day tomorrow, the sister's got together for some pampering. It was fun to relax and visit before life changes once again.

After getting pedicures, all of us girls(including mom) went for a bite to eat at Paradise Bakery. One last meal together before the wedding budget is no longer.

Carly(and lots of others) have put a lot of time and energy into planning for tomorrow. I can't wait to see everything come together and the hard work pay off.

DAY 20

2011-09-20T22:36:00.000-07:00

This morning we woke up to this lovely critter. Camden thought he was "ah a cute little guy" and Jace asked if he could "punch him".

We left it up to animal control to decide what to do with him.

We hit the rode early to drive all over town running wedding errands with my mom, and she had the brilliant idea to stop for Astro(boy) Burger's. And seeing how the boys were watching Astro Boy as we pulled up, it made it that much better.

The nice man who took our order was kind enough to go along with our Astro Boy antics. Jace loved shaking his hand, but Camden told Dan "he wasn't really Astro Boy huh, he was just pretend".

DAY 19

2011-09-19T22:38:00.000-07:00

I've had my eye on this adorable quilt pattern for some time now, and needed the perfect excuse to make it. So when my friend found out she was having a little girl after already having two boys, I couldn't wait to make this frilly and pink just for her.

I've never done applique before and found it rather tedious. So other than stitching around all those letters, this quilt was so fun to make. It came together so quickly and I loved using so many girly fabrics.

With the center being plain white, I was a bit nervous for the final outcome. But after quilting the daisy pattern all over and adding some fun ric rac, it came together so nice.

I love the polka dot binding and the soft minky on back.

And nothing tickles my fancy more than seeing this bundle of love all rolled up ready to be enjoyed!

It was so fun to be able to go to Lauren's shower tonight and see friends I hadn't since high school. I love living closer so I can enjoy special occasion's like this.

DAY 18

2011-09-18T20:25:00.000-07:00

One thing I will never forget about growing up and going to visit my Nanny is Dominoes. She had a huge ol' box of black wooden dominoes and tons of hardwood flooring. We would spend hours setting them up in all sorts of designs and got giddy watching them tumble over.

So tonight when my kids found a box laying around, my heart sorta skipped a beat. We all sat around and giggled as our masterpiece came crashing down.

I really should start using a camera instead of my phone, it's just too darn convenient.

DAY 17

2011-09-17T21:07:00.000-07:00

Blogging remotely on vacation is a lot less convenient. I'm trying my best to keep up with this everyday thing, but it is definitely harder while away from home.

We are starting to see things come together for the wedding and it's getting rather exciting. Doesn't this pile of "pretty" just make you smile?

Speaking of wedding stuff...today we got to go through the temple with Charly and Kelby for their first time. It is always refreshing to do a session and it's even better to do so with family.

After the temple we headed over for some lunch at Hagermann's. Cracker thinks he owns the place and made his way behind the counter to hook Nanny up with this festive game day cookie.

As I sit next to Kristi while blogging, I hear all sorts of yelling from Nanny and Papa while they watch BYU vs U of U. She is supposedly saving that delicious looking cookie for a victory treat. But I'm happy to eat it even if they lose.

DAY 16

2011-09-16T18:05:00.000-07:00

I spent the day getting ready for our trip to Utah for Aunt Charly's wedding.

I feel like packing for a week is packing for eternity!

DAY 15

2011-09-15T22:16:00.000-07:00

It's no secret I enjoy organizing things, especially other people's things. It's weird I know, but there is something to be said about starting with chaos and ending in harmony.

Today I got to help a friend with some organizing in her daughter's room. And because of the timing of it, the boys got to tag along with me. They were ok with coming because it was new toys, new territory, and they could slide from one from one room to the next.

About the time I was coming down the stairs to be done for the day I heard Jace pounding on the sliding glass door. When I opened the door I heard Camden hysterically screaming. The kind of scream I've never heard from his mouth before, it scared me.

A ran across the lawn behind the trees that blocked him from my view. There he stood barefoot in the middle of the dirt; shaking from the waist up, trying desperately not to move his feet. Idaho dirt is something else. You don't go near it unless you have shoes on, thick soled shoes for that matter.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't think for one second about running back to the house to grab a pair of shoes for myself. Instead I let my adrenaline take over and ran to pick him up while exposing my bare feet to the miserable thorn infested dirt. Once we made it back to the grass, we sat down and I started removing the blasted thorns. The bottom of Camden's poor feet were covered! Not one spec of his skin was showing. I tried quickly to remove the thorns from his feet as best I could and then moved to mine. But once I finished with my feet I noticed Camden's were covered in blood.

Although I was relieved he didn't have a body part dismembered like his scream led me to believe, my heart hurt to see him in pain.

He refused to walk or eat. He refused to let me pick at the thorns anymore. He just kept telling me he wanted to sleep. I gave him some pain reliever and sent him to bed. He was out like a light.

After his nap he let Dan get a few more pieces out and seems to be doing much better. My old callused feet still slightly ache, I can't imagine what his soft baby feet must feel like. Poor guy!

DAY 14

2011-09-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

I'm trying not to remember how Jace cried while screaming, "I need you to love me" for almost 2.5hrs today. Nap time without his blanket was a must after he pooped yet again in his pants. Today I was more determined to stick to my guns. But I'm wondered if this is doing more harm than help, he wet his pants tonight for Dan. Ugh!

Out with the bad, let's talk about the good.

While I was gone doing church stuff, Dan took the boys to a cute little ice cream shop. He sent these pictures to my phone and tried to make me guess where they were.

Every time we drive past this place I talk about going there. Maybe I can live vicariously through them!

DAY 13

2011-09-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

Today we made our way to story time at the library. Camden was very timid. He didn't want to pet the dog, help with the felt board during the story, or do much dancing. Jace was his usual wild self. He was the first to volunteer for everything, and yelling out "ahhhhhh, why I don't have a turn" when he wasn't picked to help. We read Chicken Little today, sang the car song, danced to the chicken song, and ended with playdoh.

We even signed up for a library card and picked out a few books on tape for our drive to Utah!

On our way home Camden asked if we could eat lunch at Chik-fil-a. I told him I didn't know of any nearby. He quickly responded, "Duh the PGS knows how to get us there".

Unfortunately Jace Man's "PGS" isn't working. He can't seem to find the toilet when he has to do his #2 thang. It has been pretty hit or miss depending on his attitude. I thought the gumball machine would be motivation enough, but now we have turned to discipline instead of rewards. We gave him several warnings, if he pooped in his pants again he would have to throw his blanket away. Well, again came and we had to follow through with our threat(I have to give credit to Dan for following through). His blanket was put in the "garbage". After crying himself to sleep without his "green blankie", he woke up in the middle of the night so upset! I could not calm him down and I caved. I shouldn't have but I did. I could not reason with him at 2:30 in the morning and apparently he could with me. I was tired from just being up with Camden(for who knows what reason) and I caved.

And just like with anything in life; after you have given in just once, justification to give in again is that much easier. Yep you guessed it, I caved again at nap time! All day I had been telling him if he pooped in the toilet he could have his blankie at nap time. Of course he didn't have to go before he laid down so he went to his room without the blanket.

But after 2 hours of pure torture for both he and I, I caved again! I'm normally pretty good about sticking to my guns, but this one is killing me.

DAY 12

2011-09-12T21:21:00.000-07:00

Man I feel like we are always running errands. Today while we were out running a few before we leave for Utah, we snapped this photo.

When we walked out of the craft store Camden planted his two feet loudly on the ground, threw his hands in the air and yelled, "Jace David! Yook(yes his L's sound like Y's) at that awesome workin thing!". This cute old lady standing outside the store about wet her pants she was laughing so hard. She insisted he do it again for her. And making his momma proud, he yelled it with even more enthusiasm the second time and begged me to take a picture. As if he had to beg me, my mamarazzi must be wearing off on him.

But apparently I do need reminders every now and again to take pictures. Tonight we had a neighborhood party which I totally forgot to bring my camera out to, dang it. While at the party, Camden was jumping on the tramp with his good pal Pierce and an older girl. Pierce decided it was cooler to hang out with the big kids and pick on the little ones, Camden being little. Soon the wrestling was no longer friendly, and hurtful words were said. I heard Camden run in the house crying. When I went to find him, he was peeking though the blinds saying, "I wanna be your friend".

Time stood still.

I wanted to agree with his hurt feelings and egg on some anger for a chance at retaliation. Part of me wanted to stand at the window and cry with him. But I snapped back to reality and recognized that this probably won't be the last time he feels betrayed. And it probably won't be the last time I feel helpless and heartbroken. So I gave him a hug, and told him I loved him. I reminded him he had two choices; he could sit inside and feel sorry for himself, or he could come outside and have fun. Luckily this experience didn't paralyze him in self pity because he was able to enjoy the remainder of the night outside.

As a mother I find it hard to recognize the balance of letting my kids figure things out for themselves, and doing it for them. Sometimes I wonder if it comes across that I'm ignoring them and don't care. I want to acknowledge their hurt and/or frustration but I hate to encourage whining and tattling. It would be easy to mediate, but what about real life? I won't always be there to fight their battles, just like someone can't do that for me. So how do I teach my kids to handle hard things when I'm still learning it myself.

DAY 11

2011-09-11T21:21:00.000-07:00

I'm sad I don't have any pictures for today, but I guess that's how it goes sometimes. I will just have to list a few things for memory sake.

Jace woke up with a swollen, red, splotchy, "hurty" foot. He was limping around most of the day. It is the same foot he got a bee sting in last Monday, it's just weird it decided to manifest it's "hurty" today.

Camden was lucky enough to say the dinner prayer. Or should I say, we were lucky enough to hear his dinner prayer tonight. Part of his thoughtfulness was on my behalf... "and please bless that Mommy will be nice".

Now that I'm a mom I love being the one to ask what everyone learned at church today. A conversation that drove me crazy when I was younger. Today Camden said he learned about a guy who couldn't see with his eyes. Jesus put water on his eyes and the man could see again. Jace said he learned about, snackies, bubbles, and "popcorn on the apricot tree".

I learned a lot of things at church today but one of them was how it feels to be old.

While at church I participated in and listened to discussions about what took place ten years ago today. I found myself surrounded by youth who were too young to remember where they were and how they felt that day. The memories and feelings that I have surrounding those events are merely something they read about in textbooks. They have heard stories from their parents and leaders, but cannot relate to that day like I can. Wow...has it really been ten years?

President Thomas S. Monson wrote an article in the Washington Post about what happened that day. He said, "If there is a spiritual lesson to be learned from our experience of that fateful day, it may be that we owe to God the same faithfulness that He gives to us. We should strive for steadiness, and for a commitment to God that does not ebb and flow with the years or the crises of our lives. It should not require tragedy for us to remember Him, and we should not be compelled to humility before giving Him our faith and trust. We too should be with Him in every season...It is constancy that God would have from us. Tragedies are not merely opportunities to give Him a fleeting thought, or for momentary insight to His plan for our happiness. Destruction allows us to rebuild our lives in the way He teaches us, and to become something different than we were. We can make Him the center of our thoughts and His Son, Jesus Christ, the pattern for our behavior. We may not only find faith in God in our sorrow. We may also become faithful to Him in times of calm."

DAY 10

2011-09-10T22:03:00.001-07:00

After convincing my little brother to get up and come with me, we took the boys to Lowe's this morning. Lowe's building kits always seem more complicated than Home Depot's, so it's nice having someone else with me who doesn't have to pretend they know how to build.

Today the boys made police car's like "Uncle Cameron", and they were mesmerized by the blinking light on top. For some reason neither of them had any interest in helping us build today; however, they both took an interest in hammering everything other than what we asked. At least the final product kept their attention for the remainder of the day.

During nap time Jace decided to poop in the hallway and then wake Camden up so he wouldn't miss the fun. I may or may not have freaked out on them and sent them both back to bed. Thirty minutes is not long enough for me to regroup for the rest of the day.

While bathing the boys tonight, Camden begged me for some quiet time with he and Jace in the living room. Of course I obliged and we made our way in right after they were dressed. While sitting there I asked Camden what we do during quiet time. His reply, "Well, here's my deal. We just need to sit and talk and smile. That's what we do for a fun quiet time together".

DAY 9

2011-09-09T21:01:00.000-07:00

Jace woke up this morning upset because I said the prayer last night and not him.

This afternoon Camden said, "I got pee in my underwear just a little, like an accident when I laughed pretty hard."

Jace begged me for a cheese tortilla at lunch today. Of course I made it for him and he refused to eat the tortilla, but devoured the melted cheese.

Camden made me proud and used" please" and "thank you" ALL day without having to be asked. I was seriously beaming every time he would say it, it was so sincere and sweet.

Tonight we had dinner at Applebee's. Yes I let Jace come with us even though he had 55 Disney stickers plastered on his shirt. Dan's nephew Ryan works there and apparently tonight was his first night in training as a server, and we were his first guests. How fun is that? He hooked us up with his pretty sweet discount just as long as we promised to pay him back someday in Oreo's!

DAY 8

2011-09-08T21:18:00.000-07:00

Today I finally started a quilt I've had my eyes on for quite some time. I'm hoping to finish it by this weekend. I would love to share how adorable it's looking, but that will have to wait.

But I can show you the cute handout I made for the ladies I get to visit teach each month.

This isn't the exact one I gave my ladies today but it's pretty darn close. All I had to do was print it from here, cut it out, glue it on the box of goodies, and bam I'm done. I enjoyed the message this month about strengthening our families through our own spirituality.

Julie B. Beck, Relief Society general president, said: “There has grown in me an overwhelming testimony of the value of daughters of God. … I have felt that there has never been a greater need for increased faith and personal righteousness. There has never been a greater need for strong families and homes.”

Sisters can help create strong homes and families as they act on personal revelation. “The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life,”

I don't think it's any coincidence that I have met some of my greatest friends through this program of visiting teaching. It's sad that it took me so long to realize what the program is truly about. Serving other women and building friendships. Divine!

DAY 7

2011-09-07T21:33:00.000-07:00

Now that I started this everyday blogging business, I feel like I'm airing my dirty laundry.

If I have big errands to run they are better accomplished in the morning. My boys usually seem to be better behaved before nap time versus after they wake up from naps. But if I try and do anything too close to lunch, they get irritable and not helpful. So if I know I have something that will take a good chuck of time and it needs to get done with children in tow, we go first thing in the morning. Today was one of those days. We were out of the house early enough that I hadn't showered, which I justify because "I don't know anybody here".

Our first stop was the mall of all places(I HATE the mall). I opted out of bringing the stroller because it is usually more of a fight than it's worth. But no stroller means two boys who are now expected to hold my hand and keep up. Yeah right!

The entire time Jace is looking behind him rather than where he is headed; this resulted in many bumps, bruises, and knocked over displays. Camden on the other hand is carefully inspected all the tags on my clothing in the dressing room and yelled out the sizes. No biggie cause I'm comfortable in my own skin, everyone should know what size I'm trying to squeeze into.

As we are just about to leave the mall(my favorite place) Dan called asking if I'd mind bringing him some lunch. So once I get up to the counter to order his food he didn't answer his phone. How dare he get busy at work and not answer the second I call. By this point the kids are fighting, I'm sweating, the cashier is totally bugged that I'm putting a cramp in her texting marathon, and I'm raging mad because I'm still at the mall. Dan called back and told me not to worry about it because he could hear "it" in my voice that I'm about to lose it. I insisted he give me his order after I had already made the trek to the food court.

What seemed like an eternity later, we made it to the car. I had to make one pit stop at the bread store unless we wanted bread less BLT's for dinner. The kids were whiny and begging to come in. So after I screamed...I mean...reminded them to stop touching each other, looking at each other, and talking to each other, we made our way in the store.

All is well now that I have my butter with a slice of bread, until I drop it on the floor of the car. I would have picked it up but it sat there too long as I chatted with my neighbor whose car was parked next to mine and wouldn't start. I'm not sure if she wanted to wait for her husband to pick her up because I hadn't showered, just yelled at my kids, had butter all over the car, or like Dan could hear "it" in my voice.

As I drove to Dan's work to bring him his now cold lunch, I couldn't help but wonder...maybe it's me, not my boys that can't run errands too close to lunch. Did I seriously just get worked up over all those trivial things.

I need to work on that.

DAY 6

2011-09-06T20:49:00.000-07:00

Although it hasn't been long since I served in the Young Women program, it feels like I'm starting all over again.

I spent a good chunk of my day trying to organize and refresh for this new opportunity. Fourteen young women ages 12-13, with thirteen more joining our class within the next year!

DAY 5

2011-09-05T20:27:00.000-07:00

Once again we found ourselves enjoying a day at the lake. Some of us had more fun than others!

Camden was not a happy camper when we sent just the two of them out on the tube. He pretty much cried until we let him back in. Whoops!

My dad had fun learning he is taller than he thinks he is. After falling while skiing, he was able to stand up and walk right over to the boat.

Poor Jace man got stung by a bee right between his toes.

All of the excitement of the day pretty much knocked Jace out. We could not keep him awake for the life of us. He even fell asleep while out riding in the tube.

And to top our day off we came home, built a fire pit, and roasted some marshmallows. It was the perfect ending to a perfect day!

DAY 4

2011-09-04T20:54:00.001-07:00

Last week Jace's nursery teacher gave me the assignment of filming Jace while singing the "Smiles" song. She said she gets a kick out of how animated his facial expressions are and she finds herself only watching him during the song.

So today I sat down and tried to capture how hilarious it really is.

If you chance to meet a frown,

Do not let it stay.

Quickly turn it upside down

And smile that frown away.

No one likes a frowning face.

Change it for a smile.

Make the world a better place

By smiling all the while.

DAY 3

2011-09-03T19:57:00.000-07:00

A couple nights ago Camden woke up frantic because something was wrong. "Why are there bubbles in my nose?" I couldn't help but laugh at his explanation of a snotty nose even though he was traumatized!

So of course last night it was Jace Man's turn. He had a rough night trying to sleep while fighting off the "bubbles in his nose". And after waking up too late for the hot air balloon festival this morning, we went with our next best option. Home Depot kids workshop.

Today the boys made game day dry erase boards. I'm pretty sure their favorite part of the whole workshop is getting their completion pin and a cup of popcorn. Which is fine by me, because we all know my favorite part is seeing them in their cute aprons. At least it gets us out of the house and doing something different.

Later today Camden brought me in a handful of flowers from the yard "because they are pretty and special".

DAY 2

2011-09-02T19:48:00.000-07:00

It's days like today I don't normally document on my blog. But because I had the great idea to write about everyday in September, here goes nothing...

I made a trip to the grocery with two boys in tow. It nearly ended in tears for all three of us! Camden got mad because I wouldn't buy him a "lunch box" lunchable, so he started screaming and yelling. Telling me how mean I am and how I never let him have anything fun. When I didn't give in to his antics he started with the water works.

Apparently his water works struck the wrong cord with Jace because shortly after Camden started crying, Jace began hitting him and telling him he's "nnoying and too loud". This resulted in a full on boxing match right there in the shopping cart. There was nothing this referee could do other than remove one of them from the situation. Camden was now told he was walking and had to keep a death grip on the cart. If I saw it even so much as loosen up one tiny bit, he got the lobster claw right on his shoulder. I meant business.

Jace took walking along side the cart as a privilege, and started into a raging fit. He was shaking his face while making a fist with both hands and yelling. Not a sad yell, it was his 'I'm gonna kill whoever and whatever I can get my hands on' because I'm mad, kind of a yell. This lasted all the way out the store, and in the car on our way to Shady Acres.

Shady Acres is the gas station where I go every day minus one, to get my fix. My escape from reality. My Diet Dr. Pepper. When I pulled into the parking lot, I went around back. I took a deep breath, unloaded both kids from their car seats, and sat in the back of the car where I could hold and love on both of them. Apparently they needed some serious love because everything I said and did was wrong. I held them until we all felt a little better. I went in and got my Dr. Pepper(for free cause that's how they treat their regulars...we're tight like that), and sipped my bad feelings away as we drove the rest of the way home.

Home is where I cleaned bathrooms, vacuumed, did laundry, mowed the lawn, and made a peach pie.

Now the boys are in their beds. I feel exhausted, but rather accomplished.

30 Days Hath September

2011-09-01T20:49:00.000-07:00

I saw an idea somewhere several years ago and have thought about it ever since. The idea was to create a scrapbook containing the everyday items and thoughts for all 30 days of September.

The task of creating a scrapbook page for the next 30 days seemed rather daunting; but the concept of remembering and writing down the everyday ordinary things, wouldn't leave my mind.

If you are immersed in life-

enhancing activities and enjoying them with positive enthusiasm,

then you are living in the moment.

This is a dimension of wellness, we are NEVER going to

know unless AND until we cultivate a

consciousness of

living in the NOW.

For 30 days, I'm telling

OUR STORY NOW.

DAY 1

Today was a pretty low key day.

Camden woke me up in the middle of night and asked, "What is wrong with me? Why are there bubbles in my nose?" He was so concerned and almost terrified by his bubble blowing snotty nose and I couldn't contain my laughter. I love the way his innocent little mind thinks.

I am not a reader. Never have been. But after watching the movie "The Help", I let my friend convince me I needed to read the book. The first few days went as expected...I think I read 20 pages in 2 weeks. But today I picked it up and couldn't put it down. I found myself reading while making dinner for my boys. I'm hooked.

Tonight I was reminded that the Lord is into the very details of my life. I am grateful for the whisperings of the spirit and that I have been able to recognize them more fully now more than ever.

Lake Lowell

2011-08-30T13:00:00.003-07:00

While my oldest brother Chad was here for an impromptu visit last week, we made a day of it at the Lake.

There were probably a total of 3 boats at the lake that day, and we found the perfect spot. The water was like glass.

Camden enjoyed the wind in his face and the snacks in his belly.

While the rest of us beat our poor old bodies up on the wakeboard

My little bro made some serious progress jumping the wake, and he put us all to shame with his endurance.

Even Jace Man made an appearance on the wakeboard. It's just too darn bad we attempted it during nap time, he was practically falling asleep out there in the water.

Thanks for making the trip Chad, we had a blast!

The Potato State

2011-08-23T20:22:00.002-07:00

Before moving here, the only thing I really "knew" about Idaho was potatoes. So you bet your booty I jumped at the chance to help harvest a potato field this morning. I had no idea what I was in for, but I knew I had to try it out for myself(and my boys).

The moment we stepped foot in the field(the same field Lay's gets potatoes from) and I saw my boys off in the distance, it was everything I thought Idaho would be. My heart was content.

I tried hard not to gag at the smell and secretly wished I was strutting around in some stylish boots. No, not full on cowboy boots just yet. You know, those cute rubber boots at target that I've been needing an excuse to buy. I think I see a future for the two of us.

My boys were so proud of their box full of potatoes, and I have to admit I was too. They couldn't wait to get home and "slice" them up.

We seriously filled the truck bed with potatoes. There is something to be said about all this fresh food we have been enjoying! And yes, I get a sense of pride knowing I hand picked my food.

And as we were getting ready to leave, our sweet friend asked if the boys wanted to ride horses for a bit. I'm not sure who was more excited for the opportunity, me or my kids.

Camden was nervous at first but couldn't let his brother show him up. I had to pry them off the horse, they had a blast.

What a day of firsts!

Every Party has a Pooper

2011-08-22T14:58:00.000-07:00

For some reason I can't get a grip on things lately. I feel like a mess of a mother. I am severely lacking in the patience area and feel like a ticking time bomb. It's bad news, but nothing I can't figure out. Life is good, I am blessed and I know that. Just in one of those funks.

Jace is one of those kids who does the exact opposite of what you say while smiling and looking you in the face. When I am disciplining him(even when I'm raging mad) he will laugh in my face. If I say run to the left, he will walk to the right.

For the past week he has started pooping his pants. It's almost as if he woke up one morning and flipped a switch. He was fine one day, the next day...not so much.

The first time it happened I felt like I was very patient. I reassured him that it was an accident, and everything was fine. We went on our merry way. The next time it happened I was bugged. The next time, he got in trouble because he "knows better"(and because he was walking down the hall dropping it out of his shorts). The next time he had to wear a diaper. Then I told him he had to clean it up himself. Then he had to wear a diaper and carry 15 clean diapers with him everywhere he went. Then he had to throw his beloved Astro Boy underwear in the garbage.Then I bought a bubblegum machine for bribing purposes. Then I ignored it. I feel like I have tried everything under the sun.

The first time I put him back in a diaper he hysterically cried(I felt bad but thought I was helping him understand wearing underwear is better). The next time he got a diaper he didn't poop for two days(which resulted in diarrhea for the next day). So for the last two mornings I have asked him if he wants a diaper or underwear, he chooses underwear.

Maybe he trained too young. Maybe he had a tummy ache. Maybe he was distracted while playing. Maybe he is just being Jace and doing the exact opposite of what I want. Maybe he just doesn't care.

So last night as I sat in my boys room to watch them sleep before I went to bed. I couldn't help but notice the pile clean diapers sitting in the doorway. The same diapers I put away with excitement as Jace became potty trained. The same diapers that make my heart ache for a newborn when I see them tucked away in the closet. These diapers tugged at my heart strings as I sat next to my sleeping boys. Maybe this whole pooping issue that's come up is not Jace's problem, but mine. Maybe this is yet another opportunity for me to learn patience; an art I am far from perfecting, so I should welcome the chance to practice.

Date Day

2011-08-20T11:22:00.001-07:00

For the past couple nights when Camden said his prayers, he prayed that Daddy would take him golfing. So for Dan's day off this week we decided to each take a kid and do something together.

It's was only fitting for these two to hit the golf course. And when I called to see how things were going, Camden couldn't wait to tell Jace Man about his fun time with Dad. The older Camden gets, the more fun it is to watch him want to do everything just like his dad.

Jace and I hit the road to run a couple errands. The first and most important errand was of course stopping for a drink at the gas station. Next on the list...an ice cream cone for my man. We ended our running around town after picking out a pillow for Papa's long flight to China.

When I brought Jace home for a nap I wasn't expecting much of one because Camden was still out golfing. These two have slept in the same room ever since Jace was born, that is all they know! Much to my surprise Jace went right down, no fighting, no crying, no ridiculous antics. He was out like a light in no time flat. And we thought Jace was to blame for the nap time/nighttime craziness.

These boys are usually easier together simply for the entertainment factor. But the one on one time was much needed and appreciated!

Fresh

2011-08-19T07:38:00.000-07:00

Just because I'm a rookie at taking care of animals on the farm, doesn't mean I don't enjoy me some of this farm land around here. I am in heaven each morning as I head out to the garden to see what has grown.

Between my parents garden and our more than generous neighbors garden....

We enjoy eating fresh fruits and veggies every single day.

And I may or may not have drawn a face on some spaghetti squash and left it on my neighbors porch. Cause I'm cool like that.

Better Than Easter

2011-08-18T08:04:00.001-07:00

Since moving to farmville, we have had the opportunity to help my little brother "farm sit" a couple of times. It has been a real learning experience for me, and a huge blessing for my boys.

Camden is the official egg hunter. I have to admit, it sicks me out a little. I try hard not to think about the chicken just giving birth to what my son is now proudly carrying around with him and planning on eating for breakfast.

Camden would be in heaven living on a farm. I just wanna get in and get the work done without getting anything on my pants or shoes. I can't wait to sanitize my hands once we hit the car. Camden spends individual time with the animals and has to make sure he says goodbye to each one of them before we leave(it is quite the process). But as much as it sicks me out, I am so grateful for the opportunities we have had to try new things while living here.

Double Wide

2011-08-17T13:28:00.000-07:00

When my Food Network loving friend called me and told me about Donnie Mac's Trailer Park Cuisine. I knew I needed to check it out.

It was everything I thought it would be, and so much more.

These nasty couches and recliner chairs are sitting out front, along with an orange self serve water cooler and Dixie cups.

Inside you'll see tailgates for counter tops, shower curtains hanging to give you more privacy while you eat, or you can eat inside an old beat up car(which we of course did). Each table had a paper cup with sidewalk chalk to be used on the table while you wait. The food was nothing fancy, but tasted pretty darn good. My kids had a blast and it was a fun, white trash night out on the town.

Full Circle

2011-08-11T20:33:00.000-07:00

I do not remember life without a boat growing up. We spent many Saturday's at the lake, and every summer at Lake Powell. So taking my kids this weekend seemed only natural.

Too bad Camden didn't feel very natural. He was worried about Papa driving too fast, and if the fish were mean, and not being able to see the bottom of the water. But he was perfectly content sitting in the sun eating our packed lunch. I had to throw him in the water in order to cool off, he didn't appreciate it. Luckily Uncle Caleb was more convincing and bribed him with two cookies if he took a ride on the tube. He did, and was pleasantly surprised with how fun it was.

Jace on the other hand, has no fear! I had to hold him in the boat while it was going so he wouldn't jump off the front. He will definitely be wake boarding with me next time.

While Dan and I tried to recover from being old, Uncle Caleb did some entertaining.

I remember being little, sitting on my dad's lap "driving" the boat. I felt so proud of myself for doing such a big job. I love when life comes full circle.

For as many times as I have been out on the boat, you'd think this weekend was nothing special. But with my boys at such a fun age, I tried soaking up every moment I could. This trip was nothing out of the ordinary, but one I will never forget.

Summer

2011-08-10T21:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was telling Dan how sad I was that summer is almost over. I feel like it rushed right by and I missed it. I never felt that way in Arizona. What a blessing it has been to be here this summer. We have had so many opportunities to do fun things outside.

The farmers market is a must.

Rollerblading and biking the Boise River Greenbelt did not disappoint.

Homemade ice cream is pretty self explanatory, especially when you get to lick the mixer.

The water fights around here are never ending.

Picnic lunches on the tramp.

And a special day at the temple with my big sis.

(Umm..don't mind my hunchback and bad hair, I have issues)

Just to name a few.

Therapy

2011-08-07T22:56:00.001-07:00

Lately it's as if my thoughts have been running circles around me. I can't keep up with them. So tonight I sit at my computer hoping to find peace with my thoughts. I am searching for meaning amidst the chaos.

Writing is an outlet for me. Being able to put my thoughts on paper(or a blog) is a safe place for my heart to speak. Speaking before I think is a short coming of mine.  I often find myself saying something I wish I hadn't. But when I write, I can let it flow knowing there is time to proof read. I feel a sense of relief when I get things of my chest and written down. I often feel regret as I speak whats on my mind while living in the moment.

As I've been trying hard to remember my word of the year, I find myself not wanting to discuss certain things. Ya know, the certain things that get me down. The things that make me stressed or worried or overwhelmed. The hard things. But maybe that's my way of proof reading. Maybe that's my way of thinking before I speak. I hope that's the case cause that means I'm getting better.

But I'm fully aware that thinking about, and writing down my concerns won't take them away. But I'm convinced it unlocks another piece to the puzzle. My eyes are opened to a much bigger picture. The picture I need to see.

For Mother's Day 2 years ago I received what I thought to be a boring gift, and tucked it inside my church bag.  It wasn't until I recently rediscovered it, that I came to appreciate it's thoughtfulness. This gift was a homemade CD of carefully selected talks and music. I put it in my car radio and have found myself indulging in it every chance I get. Rewinding, re-listening, and trying to remember everything that was said.

Elder F. Enzio Busche said, "...when you are compelled to give up something or when things that are dear to you are withdrawn from you, know that this is your lesson to be learned right now. But know also that, as you are learning this lesson, God wants to give you something better."

I often find myself in the thick of thin things feeling extremely overwhelmed. But it's nice to remember when things aren't going as planned, God has something better in store. Patience is a hard lesson to be learned.  A lesson I learned to never pray for, but often find myself being taught.

God is aware of my circumstance. What I'm searching for is just around the corner. I'm not exactly sure what it is I'm searching for. But I can feel it. Right. Around. The. Corner. And it feels good.

Sooner or Later...

2011-07-21T10:08:00.001-07:00

It was bound to happen.

Camden and Jace were doing their usual wrestling around when I noticed it was starting to get out of control. I nonchalantly said something to the fact that they needed to take it down a notch before someone got hurt. After leaving the room to put a load of laundry in, I came back to Camden sulking on the couch. I tend to ignore this sort of behavior; but because of a recent conversation with Camden about "nobody ever listens to me", I decided to sit down and talk with him. Through his tears he kept apologizing for not talking nice about mom. He said he was sorry and was sad he got in trouble for saying "not nice" things.

I didn't ask what he said(we are dealing with a certain "not nice" four letter word that he likes to use) as to not encourage repeating not nice things. I accepted his apology and asked Dan if he knew what happened. Apparently after asking them to calm down, Camden took Jace by the arm and was caught marching around saying, "We want a new mom...we want a new mom!"

Is it bad I find this humorous?

Finished

2011-07-20T08:08:00.003-07:00

After putting so much love into making this quilt...I almost forgot to post the final product!

I machine stitched my last binding and didn't love how it turned out. So this time I was determined to master my blind stitch for a perfect finish.

There is nothing better than a quilt straight from the dryer. I love the bubbly feel and the wrinkled look that the fun flower stitching adds.

Of course I love coming up with excuses to cuddle in it and can't wait to pick the perfect pattern for my next adventure(quilts for the boys beds).

Don't you love what Jace is wearing?!?!?!

Get Away

2011-07-19T16:33:00.003-07:00

I had the opportunity to take my boys on a little road trip to Utah while Dan stayed home and worked.

I have been so lucky to have friends with kids the same age as mine. It worked perfectly to let these handsome boys ride bikes and share popcorn at the park while we visited. I love that even though it has been forever since I'd seen this friend, it was as though no time had passed at all.

Not only have I enjoyed being closer to family, but my kids have as well. They were on cloud nine after spending just a short time with a few cousins. We can't wait to go back again in a few months and see more of them!

Fishing in Great Nanny and Papa's stream is a must. It's a good thing great Nanny is the world's best fishing pole maker, she even hooked them up with a paperclip hook at the end of their line. We were so glad we got to stay with her for Sunday dinner and spend time with Aunt Kristi, Charly and Uncle Cracker while we were there.

And for our last stop(the reason for this trip), we got to spend a few days with another favorite friend of mine. It was so much fun watching our kids play together. We did so many great things: bounce house, sleepover(it was pretty short lived because I scared poor Owen while getting after the mischievous Jace Man), celebrated a birthday, ate TONS of yummy food, had girls night out(thanks Blake), played Phase 10, went to a ball game, talked, swam, shared breakfast on the patio, braided hair, went out to lunch, and bonded like it was nobodies business.

As we were saying goodbye Owen told Camden he would miss him, it pretty much melted my heart! We were beyond grateful for the their generosity and for the chance we had to hang out.

I love that all these people(and so many more) are just a few hours away!

Dear Caleb,

2011-07-05T12:19:00.000-07:00

While you were gone at EFY last night breaking your collar bone...

We got to watch Papa fight for his manliness by lighting off the biggest and loudest fireworks.

Thanks to that secret stash you had hiding in your closet, he put up a good fight.

Love,

Camden and Jace

Recently

2011-06-28T13:09:00.001-07:00

I feel like this past month of my life I have had the least amount of things on my plate. Yet at the same time, June has flashed before my eyes. I know having two boys is enough to keep one busy, but I am also trying to keep busy during the more quiet parts of my day. I have taken on a few projects here and there, and that seems to help keep me in check.

My boys have enjoyed making forts with Uncle Caleb,

Playing outside in the water,

Checking out the local Renaissance fair,

And visiting the Boise temple grounds before they close next month.

I have found myself cleaning and organizing the pantry,

Enjoying the sunsets,

Making S'mores in a jar

And learning to use my mom's long arm quilting machine.

Who knows what July will hold for us!

Sneak Peak

2011-06-14T11:45:00.002-07:00

I've been doing a little crafting.

Hopefully I can get my butt in gear and finish this bad boy sooner than later.

But until then....enjoy the fun colors and imagine how awesome it's gonna look once it's all put together.

FOUR

2011-06-12T22:20:00.083-07:00

Camden has been anxiously waiting for this day to come.

He has been talking about it since Jace had his birthday in April. He(and I) thought the day would never come.

As we drove home from church today we passed a family riding bikes together. Camden made mention how cool the "little guy" was riding his bike. He even thought he could talk Papa into letting him borrow his bike.

Lucky for him, Nanny and Papa were one step ahead of him and bought him his very own. Now he can be one of those cool little guy's.

This year he got a bike, helmet, tons of cool clothes, a Toy Story slip n' slide, a dinosaur card, and his very own money.

Camden is the world's best big brother and he takes that role very seriously. He loves to be in charge of those he feels most comfortable with, but is quick to follow and obey when others give commands. He is learning about responsibilities and takes pride in his hard work. He is obsessed with having french toast for breakfast and insists on helping prepare most meals. He loves primary and talking about playing football and basketball when he is big like his Dad. Chicken is probably his least favorite food unless it comes from McDonald's in the form of a nugget. The first thing he wants to do each day is play on his "daddy's Ipod" and is a natural when it comes to gadgets. He wants to be a rockstar and loves to play with friends. He is a tricky little devil and enjoys playing hide and seek. Spiderman and Jurassic park are his latest movie obsessions. He is showing an interest in learning to read and is very good with his letters. We are so glad Camden is a part of our family and we are proud of who he is becoming.

Happy Birthday Camden!

4 years ago

2011-06-11T23:09:00.065-07:00

Tonight as I sit exhausted and with a headaches on the bathroom floor bathing my boys; I can't help but be grateful for what happened four years ago. Four years ago today my life was about to change drastically, more than I could comprehend. Four years ago today I was anxiously trying to fall asleep. I was scheduled to make my way to the hospital for an induction at 3pm. I was beyond excited to finally meet my baby and more than anxious for the unknown labor process. I was going to be a mom.

So tonight as I am at my wits end from breaking up fights all day; I want to remember how I felt back then. I want to remember what I signed myself up for and why. As I continue to break up wrestling matches, place them in time out, follow through with consequences that are really harder for me then them, and listen to a whirlwind of nagging and bickering...I am filled with joy. I guess this is exactly how I imagined motherhood would be; exhausted and laying on the floor.

And lucky enough for me as I laid there gearing up to put them in bed, I overheard Camden asking Jace if he was his best friend. Jace's reply, "I love you too much brubba".

Surprise

2011-06-10T17:06:00.034-07:00

We got a {surprise} visit from our favorite Ya Ya. My boys had no idea she was coming, and I wish I had recorded their reaction when we picked her up at the airport. It was priceless.

Hope has been a little hesitant about our move from the beginning. Idaho is a foreign country to her and she couldn't see herself making a visit to farmville. Luckily we tricked her into thinking it would be a luxurious getaway and she made the trek.

My kids were in heaven the entire time. We ventured out and went to places that we had never been. We tried food we had never eaten. And my boys woke her up at obscenely early hours of the morning to ask for french toast.

We made books, and newspaper prints, and built things at home depot. We rocked out in the car to loud music, and made late night trips to DQ. We laughed, cried, and talked until we couldn't anymore.

But our favorite part was just having her around. Spending some good ol quality time and pretending we really don't live a couple states away.

Thanks for coming to visit, we hope it isn't too long before we see you again!

Memorial Day

2011-05-31T12:54:00.018-07:00

We were lucky enough to spend a couple hours with Dan's family this memorial day.

We headed to a nearby(awesome) park to hang out and eat dinner.

My Jace Man would not leave the big boys alone on the basketball court, and they were so nice to let him play.

It has been fun getting to know Dan's family a little better. We haven't lived near family in almost 6 years(since we were married) and to meet up at the park for dinner with 2 of his siblings is a real treat! Especially when Julie brings caramel dipped apples for dessert!

Luckily the weather is starting to warm up and there will be more of these sort of things in the near future.

Family

2011-05-29T13:00:00.031-07:00

I can't even begin to express what a blessing it has been for me to be closer to family.

I have enjoyed being able to hang out and not have the thought of going home looming in the distance.

This weekend my sisters and Kelby came to visit and I had a blast.

No Kelby doesn't always look that funny! He had just mastered the art of getting an Oreo from his forehead into his mouth with no hands.

Potty Project

2011-05-20T12:41:00.000-07:00

Seeing how I've got a bit more free time on my hands, I decided to work on a little project. The "Potty Project". It all started Tuesday evening while playing in the garage with the boys. I saw the moving box labeled, "little potty" and decided it was time to introduce it to Jace. I gave him every drink he could have ever wanted, and lots more. He sat down(yes in the garage), had success, we sang and danced to the perfect potty song, and the rest is history.

When I potty train my boys I let them run around in the buff for a few days to get the hang of it. Jace does pretty darn good while in his birthday suit, but has had just a couple accidents when I put him in underwear.
I will admit in moments of frustration I have questioned if he is ready, but I'm certain he gets it and he is proud of his success. I had him throw his remaining diapers in the "garbage" so that both he and I were on the same page.

For the past couple months I have been telling him if he goes poop on the potty I will buy him a new Astro Boy. He gets excited every time we talk about it, so I figured I had better not lie. But because Astro Boy wasn't the most popular movie, memorabilia is hard to come by(especially when operation potty started on a whim). So that first night I put him to bed I had to think quick and make some tempting Astro Boy "poop on the potty prizes". Luckily my mom had a stash of iron on transfers and I went to town.

For the first two days he was praised for going pee in the toilet, now it's expected(that sounds mean when I say it out loud). But poop is another story, we celebrate with prizes(until they run out).

Our first poop was a success! And with a little encouragement from Camden, his first prize was the Astro Boy gum!

He woke up this morning with dry sheets, so I had hope for today being a good one. We took our first outing and met Dan for lunch. He was extremely weirded out by wearing underwear with his pants and kept asking to take them off. But he did a great job and learned that there are toilets every where you go. Lucky for everyone...the extra pair of clean undies and pants still remain in the back of the car.

Brotherly Love

2011-05-16T08:09:00.000-07:00

I've probably said this before, but I love the bond between my two boys.

I have noticed them enjoying one another more since our move, and I'm grateful for that.

I hope it lasts forever!

We Can Do Hard Things

2011-05-15T13:05:00.001-07:00

The other day we ventured out on the town and found ourselves(ok somebody told Dan about it) the perfect little park. Not only did this park have the worlds best playground, lots of grass, benches, running trails and squirrels; it also had it's own small hill to climb.

About 20 minutes after getting to the park we decided to climb up this hill. The boys were squealing with excitement as they ran from the playground to where we would start our hike. Just about the time Camden started leaning forward putting his hands on his thighs, I too could feel the burn. Camden kept saying, "this is hard" as he proudly took another step. The closer we got to the top, the more our feet slipped in the sand. While Dan carried Jace, I cautiously grabbed Camden's hand the rest of the way up.

Once we made it to the top they both jumped up and down yelling, "WE DID IT". And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling a little proud myself.

After spending a couple minutes enjoying our view, we decided it was time to head back down. Looking down on the path we had just hiked, it seemed to me like a death trap. That same steep hill we had just climbed, looked like a cliff off the side of a giant mountain. I had convinced Dan it would be too hard to go down with the boys and we needed to take an easier trail. Unfortunately there was not another way down. The trail I thought connected, didn't. Now how was I to tell Camden we needed to go back down after He had just heard me yelling...I mean....convincing his Dad we couldn't. My legs were shaking as I tried to be brave, and Camden was crying as he reluctantly followed.

Dan explained to Camden if he held one of my hands, and used his other to hold the rope, we would be fine. But this time when Camden yelled out, "this is hard", his pride was gone and I could sense his fear. I found myself telling him(and me), "I know this is hard but we can do hard things".

One shaky little step at a time we made it down.

I may or may not have been fighting back the tears of excitement as we made it to the bottom. My heart was beaming as big as Camden's smile. We did it. We did a hard thing.

So this week as I've had a pity party for myself, it hit me. Sometimes in life even the most perfect situation can have a small hill(or two or three) thrown in the middle. But if we just remind ourselves that we can do hard things, we will. And it feels good to accomplish hard things.

We're not in Kansas anymore

2011-05-14T13:42:00.001-07:00

I never thought moving closer to family would be hard.

When we moved to Arizona it took me a long time to get adjusted. It took a long time(the entire time) for me to be able to call it home. But we did it. We adjusted, found friends, got jobs, enjoyed serving in church, and had a routine. Arizona is where Dan and I bought our first home, learned how to live with each other(that is a process, still trying to master it), and where we tried to build a foundation of trust and love in our marriage. Arizona is where I became a mom, where my kids best friends are, and the only place our family knows as home. That miserably hot place is where we met some of our dearest friends, and "extended" family, where our favorite youth in the world live, and the only weather our wardrobe supports.

Moving to Idaho has been bitter sweet for me. I am excited for the job opportunity for Dan, thrilled to be closer to family, but sad to think what we we've left behind. I adore seeing my kids with their Nanny and Papa, wrestling with Uncle Caleb, and meeting their cousins for the first time. But my heart shatters into a million pieces when they ask if we can call Sethy and Tessa to come play. Or when they come home from church and are confused because Kit wasn't in nursery again. And as silly as it seems, seeing their sandal lines fade tugs at my heart strings.

While being "home" with my kids as I look for a job has been a blessing, it is extremely hard because I have no place to be or no one to see. I'm trying hard not to wish this time away, or get down on myself for being useless, because I know it will pass quickly.

Idaho is a different place. A lot different than what we're used to. But I'm trying to embrace those differences because I know this is where we are supposed to be right now.

So here's to embracing those differences and finding the sweet among the bitter:

We got to make butter for our activity at library story time.

While driving around looking for places to live, Camden suggested we live with the cows and sprinkles(sprinklers watering the farm). I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that all we saw for miles was farmland and livestock.

My kids now know what a llama looks like because we get to pass one every time we "head into town".

On Dan's day off we took the boys to a fun park where they got to feed squirrels salt and vinegar chips right from their hand.

My kids are thrilled every time we look out the back window and see the farmer driving his tractor in the field(the same field they grow corn for Kellogg's Corn Flakes in)

We stopped for huckleberry sodas at a cute nostalgic soda shop.

A baby birds head is peeking out from the perfectly built nest on the back porch.

I have to admit, I have tried clicking my heels three times hoping to be back home. But I am grateful for the memories we are making and trying to enjoy this pace of life while it lasts.

Getting out

2011-04-26T13:37:00.000-07:00

After being here only a few days I made sure to find my way to Target. I was craving something familiar and needed to get out on the town.

We took the boys to an egg hunt put on by youth in my parents ward. After being there for a few seconds someone came up and introduced herself to me. I couldn't help myself and started sobbing as she put her arm around me and said, "Welcome, I know how hard it is to move".

This past weekend we went to dinner with Dan's brother, Sister and her husband. I was having a minor panic attack about leaving my boys with anyone for the first time after we moved. Luckily they were excited to meet their cousins and had a blast while they were babysat.

Yesterday we spent a little time at the mall and let the kids play on the toys. Jace wasn't shy about finding someone 3 times his size to try and bully. Camden found a adorably bossy little blonde girl to be his "new friend".

Today a sweet neighbor friend invited the boys and I to attend a puppet show at the library. My heart was pounding out of my chest as she unloaded her grandson from the car and Camden asked, "Can he be my buddy?"

I'm trying to adjust, and remember that "It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye".

On The Road Again

2011-04-25T12:41:00.002-07:00

Saturday morning(April 16th) was the big day! We finished up all the "leftover" packing and bid farewell to life as we knew it in Arizona.

As I took one last walk through our place I couldn't help but get teary eyed about all the things I will miss. The stupid flooring in the kitchen that drove me crazy to clean. My boys room. The storage under the stairs with my favorite hiding spot for gifts. Our big closet. The stairs I fell down holding both of my newborns. My yellow bathroom Dan painted for me as a surprise while I was out of town. My washer and dryer being outside. Our courtyard patio that always smelled like dog poo. The flower pot I attempted to keep up on but never did. The palm trees in my front "yard" that grew so tall. The parking lot my kids learned to splash puddles in. The sink my boys had their first bath in. My new windows, new air conditioning unit, and my new patio door. The hole in the door from an upset Camden. The one wall in the kitchen that needed constant cleaning from a food throwing Jace Man.

It's funny how I cursed so many things about living there until I knew it wouldn't be forever.

A couple days before we moved I had a dream about our drive to Idaho. I kept trying to turn around in the car and look back while Dan was yelling, "Don't look back". In real life, Dan was driving the moving truck and my Dad didn't say anything about me looking back.

Arizona will always be closer than it appears.

There may or may not have been tears about who got to ride in the BIG BIG truck with Dad. And I thought I lucked out when he offered to have them both ride at the same time. But instead of falling fast asleep while my dad chauffeured me in a quiet car; I was on edge watching my entire life in the truck ahead of me.

We were fortunate enough to spend the first night in St. George with Dan's mom and Grandma. We were sad it was only for a short time, but grateful for their hospitality. They made sure to fill our bellies with a delicious breakfast and our hands with a bag full of fun toys for the ride.

Our boys were such troopers and the entire drive was less stressful than all of us anticipated. Thanks to some mad driving skills from my Dad and Dan, we made it to Idaho around 7pm Sunday night.

Hoppy Easter

2011-04-24T16:59:00.001-07:00

2 of my sisters came up for the weekend and brought with them the magic of Easter. After going to dinner with Dan's family Saturday night, we came home to eggs all over the yard.

They had no trouble finding a million eggs and had eaten half their loot before the night was over.

Don't worry, Dan and I ate the other half.

Raw

2011-04-12T22:08:00.002-07:00

Never mind things I COULD be doing right now like packing, cleaning, or going to sleep so I can function at work tomorrow. I have this nagging NEED to write my feelings down while they are still raw.

Moving is stressful. And as I approach our last week here in Arizona I often find myself getting teary eyed over things I probably won't do again. Like passing the same old man on my way to work who has increased his walk to a slow jog. Or when I gave my kids a bath with Tessa and she went home in boy pajamas. Going to lunch with friends. Tiffani calling to see if I need a Sonic. Having the youth from our ward just stop by. Taking my kids to their doctor who I love and trust. The train park. Being familiar with my surroundings. My kids going to church and loving their class and friends.

There are so many things that make moving stressful. But the hardest thing so far is watching the stress manifest in my boys. The other night while saying goodbye to our "AZ family" one of the nieces asked Jace if he was moving, he responded with "far far way". I asked Camden if I could take his picture with his favorite friend at the babysitter and he sadly replied, "No cause he can't ever come over". Camden has spent 90% of his days crying because everything seems to be a tragedy, or he is "having a hard day". Jace has had some serious diarrhea and diaper rash. Nobody is sleeping through the night, naps are a fight and way too short. Camden asked if the Easter Bunny knew where we were moving to. They both want one on one time and to be held(too bad Dan is out of town and there is only one of me).

I can handle the stress of moving. I'm not sure how much longer I can handle the stress it puts on my kids.

While most everything is off my walls by this point, I still have one quote that hangs taped to my microwave. And I couldn't get it out of my mind yesterday!

"Wherever you are, be there fully. For where you are is where you can most effectively act and live. When your thoughts are in another place or time, your actions lose much of their effectiveness. There is much to be accomplished, much to be lived in every place and in every moment. Be there fully for all of them, and life will be rich indeed." -Author Unknown

Thinking about that quote I tried hard to focus on the moment. I tried hard to make last night about last night, and not about where and what we will be doing in a week. Dinner was a joke because nobody would eat, so we opted for ice cream cones. We chased each other around and made fish faces on the windows. We splashed extra long in the tub. We read books, snuggled, and had a sleepover in mom's bed.

I appreciate my kids patience with me as I try to get things ready for our move, but I also appreciate subtle reminders that help me be there fully for all of life's moments.

Happy Birthday

2011-04-10T15:30:00.001-07:00

As much as I miss this chubby, fuzzy haired, smiley, and easy going baby...

I am madly in love with this rambunctious, energetic, hilarious, and hard to get mad at, 2 year old.

We {sorta} celebrated Jace's birthday last night before Dan went out of town. Don't mind the awesome birthday candles, that's how we roll because everything is packed in boxes.

Jace Man is a mischievous little thing! He knows just how to push your buttons and does so not because he wants to, but because you don't want him to. He is very protective of his things but is trying hard to learn the importance of sharing. He still has a love for his blanket that he calls "bee-dee", as well as his sippy cup. He loves things with wheels; giant trucks, trains, and cars are definitely a must in his toy box. He loves to rip books and does most naughty things with a smile on his face. He knows what he wants and when he wants it. He is playful and a huge snuggle bug. He is our favorite 2 year old and we are so happy to celebrate him today!

Just a few...

2011-04-09T23:31:00.001-07:00

Reasons why I'm gonna miss Arizona.

I ugly cry just thinking about the friendships we've made here in Arizona. We have been blessed!

Concert for Jesus

2011-04-02T22:49:00.000-07:00

I love when I have "ah-ha" moments that make me feel like I'm doing something right.

A while back we had family night about the temple. It was that night Camden started learning the lyrics to one of his favorite songs, "I love to see the Temple".

Belting it out in the aisles of Target, in the waiting room at the eye doctor, or singing it for the dental hygienist, are a few of those times when I feel a little, "ah-ha". And it is those times when I am reminded to act on the promptings of the spirit. For the spirit is by far a greater teacher than I.

This past week I found Camden and Jace sitting in the living room having quite the concert. Camden stood on the entertainment center and yelled, "Ladies and gentlemen and Jesus...what song can I sing for you today". I will admit I was a tad nervous to hear what he was planning on singing for Jesus. But you can imagine my excitement when I find he and Jace rocking out on their instruments to that very song, "I love to see the Temple".

Brave Heart

2011-04-01T22:29:00.001-07:00

I have been wanting to write this down for awhile now but couldn't find the perfect picture. Forget the picture!

Jace HATED nursery, like hated with a capital "H" for the longest time. I stressed about this often. I'm usually pretty strong when it comes to making my kids go through things that they don't care for. But this one started to tug at my heart strings after awhile.

I tried sitting in nursery with him and sneaking out. I tried sitting in nursery with him and explaining that I will leave and come back soon. I tried talking about nursery all week. I tried sending him with a treat to share, or his favorite toy, or a picture of our family. I tried having his favorite Spencer drop him off at class. I bribed him with all sorts of things. No matter what I tried he ended up crying the entire time. I often found his sweet nursery leaders walking around the halls with him, or going outside for fresh air, or sneaking him extra treats.

Jace's hatred for nursery was so bad that if the word "Sunday", or "church", or "nursery" were ever mentioned throughout the week, crying would start. He would cling to me, and it was bad news.

One day I couldn't take it anymore. I felt sick for myself, for Jace, and especially for his nursery leaders. I decided to call one of those leaders and ask for any advice she might have. I first apologized for what he puts them through each week and second thanked her for a thankless job. Third, I asked her if there was anything I should or could be doing to help this situation. What she told me was priceless.

"Pray for him. Pray for him to have a brave heart."

Dang it. I thought I had tried everything in the book. I thought for sure she was going to tell me I had done everything possible. I thought for sure she was just as stumped as I was. But instead she taught me a valuable lesson.

And guess what. It worked.

The Very Next Day

2011-03-24T23:02:00.002-07:00

This past winter I bragged about how beautiful it is in Arizona. I have come to appreciate being able to eat outside on Thanksgiving, and ride your new bike on Christmas morning. The sunset and sunrise is un-like any other. Shopping is available on every single corner. Good food is at your finger tips. Friends come from all walks of life. Arizona has made it's mark on me.

Dan and I moved here 5.5 years ago and were adamant we would be here only 2. But after Dan graduated and had a job here, the move didn't happen as planned. My hopes were high that our move back to family would happen sooner than later.

Not last weekend but the weekend before, I gave up my controlling issues about where we were going to live to someone greater than myself. I cleaned out our storage unit and finally threw away the last of the moving boxes and 2 huge boxes of moving blankets. Dan questioned why I was throwing them away. My reply was simple, "We are stuck here! We've held on to these things for 5 1/2yrs anticipating a move, we aren't moving anytime soon." And to be perfectly honest, I was ok with that for probably the first time in a LONG time.

That very evening of my cleaning escapade, Dan had a phone interview with a company in Idaho. Out of disappointment I have learned to train myself not to get my hopes up about any job interview he has. So clearly I didn't think anything of this interview until they called and offered him the position the very next day.

THE. VERY. NEXT. DAY.

We had a couple days to iron out details and get all of the information from this company. After much prayer we made our decision. He accepted the job and we will be moving. We found out this week he is to start the middle of April.

Several doctors appointments, an assignment to speak in church, a graduation to attend, farewells to be made, a week without Dan, tests to be taken, finances to be figured, a place to live, and lots of packing, are just a few of the things we hope to accomplish before we leave.

This opportunity may not have happened exactly how we had envisioned. But it is one were are definitely grateful for and one that gives us hope for a brighter future.

Oops!

2011-03-16T22:50:00.000-07:00

Things are brewing around these parts. We celebrated with sparklers!

Maybe my kids will forgive me for completely forgetting about St. Patrick's day tomorrow because we played with fire.

Here's to hoping they won't get pinched ALL day tomorrow because my mind is elsewhere and they won't have a fun St. Patty's day shirt.

Grateful

2011-02-24T14:37:00.000-07:00

I'm not quite sure if it's the age of my kids right now, or the power of positive thinking, or maybe a little bit of both. But I am quite sure that I have been completely smitten by these two boys.

They have been playing so well together. Lately I find myself grinning from ear to ear while sitting back watching them interact. They love each other. They have a special bond. They melt my heart.

We have been staying in our jammies a little longer to enjoy each other at our best hours. We have been playing lots of trucks, taking lots of pictures, inventing things, imagining places, and loving on each other a little more.

I have noticed a big difference in my kids behavior. Funny how things have come full circle for me. I have more patience, they have more patience, I'm happier, they are happier. Things have been running rather smooth. Yes we have our melt downs, and tantrums, and full on boxing matches, but life wouldn't be complete without those.

Today I'm grateful for these two boys and the love that fills our home because of them!

My Cure

2011-02-22T12:55:00.000-07:00

I always get a case of the homesickness blues after being around my family. I knew they were bound to hit after my sisters left and I needed a cure quickly. Seeing how Dan was heading off to Mexico for his annual golf trip I knew I would have plenty of alone time, and I needed to make it good.

Something that reminds me of home is fabric. It calls to me, it always has. I spent days looking online at every different color, texture, and craft having to do with fabric. I knew I needed to make a quilt as soon as I saw this bayou quilt online.

I grabbed my kids, made a quick trip to the fabric store(that was an accomplishment in and of itself) and I was ready for 3 days of nothing but quilting.

This was my very first attempt at machine quilting an entire blanket. Let me just tell you it is mind numbing, and way more difficult to make straight lines then I ever imagined. But the end product is priceless to me. My lines are more wavy than straight, my binding has seen better days, but this was just what the doctor ordered.

3 days during naps and after my boys were in bed. 187 safety pins, 2 spools of thread, very sore shoulders(I really need to get a lower table when I sew), too much math and measuring, and one bright and cheerful quilt!

I was so proud when I finished last night I had to show it off to Dan right away. Of course the first thing he said was, "some of those lines are crooked", and threw it over his legs to enjoy it's imperfections.

I have had it out all day today and can't stop smiling. I have been the recipient of many handmade quilts, and I'm positive you can never fully appreciate the love that is put into one until you have done it yourself.

"Our Friends"

2011-02-16T15:34:00.000-07:00

Before leaving to pick up Aunt Kristi and Aunt Charlie we stopped at the store. Camden took it upon himself to let the cashier know we were on our way to the airport to pick up "our sisters".

They spoiled all of us the second they walked in the door. We stayed up late, talked each others ears off, and laughed until our insides fell out.

After they went home yesterday Camden asked me when "our friends" were coming back. We miss you guys!

Favorite Things

2011-02-13T21:38:00.000-07:00

I'm not the party throwing type, but this one I couldn't pass up. I had seen this idea of a "favorite things" party floating around and had to try it while my sisters were in town(just in case nobody showed up I wouldn't be alone). A couple hours before the party I started to get nervous and have flashbacks of junior high. What if people didn't show? What if my party was lame? Did I need to have a back up plan in case of awkward silence?

But I calmed myself down knowing I invited my favorite people, to come eat our favorite foods, and share our favorite things. How could it go wrong?

Everyone was asked to pick their favorite item(under $6) and bring 5 of them. After explaining our favorite item we then drew names and gave them to those people. There were some fun favorites and I think everyone walked away with good stuff.

I'm kicking myself for not taking more picture of the night, but I was a little preoccupied.

This is definitely something I wanna do again, that is if people will show up?!?!

Feeling Guilty

2011-02-04T10:07:00.000-07:00

My word for this year is POSITIVE. Let me make up for that last post before the guilt rips into me anymore. Because really, life is good and I have much to be grateful for.

1. My Dr. Pepper tasted de.licious(the half bag of cinnamon bears were pretty good too). Yum.
2. Jace has made a turn around and is off pain medication. He is sleeping through the night and eating again.
3. My sisters are coming to visit and I'm throwing a "favorite things party".
4. Thanks to a talented mother and grandmother we have lots of handmade quilts to keep us warm.
5. My husband loves what he does for a living.
6. Dinner for tonight is already made thanks to my freezer full of meals.
7. Some cute free slippers for my boys showed up in the mail.
8. Jace finally said thank you using words, not sign language.
9. My Christmas dishes are all put away.
10. My gray hair is hidden behind a beautiful new brown color.

The Real Deal

2011-02-03T14:41:00.000-07:00

I fooled myself into thinking I was ready to start getting serious about my weight loss. So I gave up Dr. Pepper and have been drinking diet here and there when I needed a fix. Unfortunately I need to dig a little deeper for some motivation about weight loss(that is another story) but, for the most part, I have stuck with diet soda.

Today I'm falling off the deep end. Even the maintenance guy made a crack about me needing to be heavily medicated.

I think an ice cold Dr. Pepper will do the trick. But just to make myself feel better about it, I need to list some of the reasons for my justification.

1.This is the 3rd time in the last month our heat has gone out. Today is the second day in a row I've called a repair man to fix it, every time it costs me more money than I have. They charged me for a part which should get me by but if it gets cold enough tonight it will break again.
2. I just received my first quote on a new heating and air conditioning unit. Ouch.
3. Our car was in the shop twice last week. More blasted money.
4. I've been congested for almost 5 weeks. I've waited in the doctors office for over 1.5hrs 2 different times because of it. I can't sleep, Dan can't sleep with me snoring and gagging all night, it's annoying. The allergist can get me in for my 3hour appointment but only during the week my sisters are here to visit. Lame.
5. My boss scheduled me 3 out of the 5 days my sisters are here even though I asked for it off.
6. Both boys were barfing Tuesday night. My favorite blanket got barf on it and because it didn't get washed right away it is stained. Sick.
7. I spent a lot of time preparing for a craft day at church and after it was over someone basically told me my craft sucked.
8. My Christmas dishes are all over my kitchen table because the boxes are outside and it's too cold to get them. So I'm living in a mess.

The more I list, the more Dr. Pepper I'm gonna want. It's almost like I need justification to drink everything I've missed out on over the last month or so. I thought this post would make me feel better, but its' making me think of all the crappy things in life, so I better be done.

Life will be good again after I get my hands on that Dr. Pepper, stay tuned for a gratitude list. I feel the need for one.

We Believe

2011-01-30T15:45:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure who was more excited for primary this week, Camden or Dan and I.

Camden was asked to help in primary for the very first time by reading the first and second articles of faith. I'm always grateful for situations that are perfect timing and topics for our family home evening.

We started Monday night and had him practice saying it several times a day. He memorized it right off the bat but just in case he got nervous we made a little cheat sheet for him to "read".

He did a great job and we are proud of him and his eagerness to learn.